My cousin-in-law had a post a few weeks back about babysitters that I found very interesting and I would like to know the experience of my friends and family.
She says that when she was babysitting in her youth, she was always responsible to get herself to a babysitting job, then one of the parents would always take her home. Now as an adult, she expects the same thing. She was surprised when she was trying to make babysitting arrangements and a girl wanted Kristin (my cousin's wife) to come pick her up. Ultimately, Kristin found a new sitter whose mother would drive her to the babysitting job. Kristin sees babysitting as a job (which it is) and when you have a job, you are responsible for your own transportation. And when we are getting ready to go, it is rarely convenient to pile all the kids in the car to go pick someone up. Fair argument.
I never assume that a girl is going to get herself to my house. Sometimes she will call me and say that her mom will bring her by and I am always very grateful, but I never expect it. Picking a girl up usually adds 10 minutes to my prep time, but I usually have it worked in to my schedule. Then I brief the girl on the plans while we ride home. I DO view babysitting as a job, but I also feel that the girl is doing me a favor by accepting the job. Since she is making it possible for me to go out, I am happy to pick her up. Without her, I would be unable to go at all. She could certainly say no -- I'm sure that hanging out with friends on a Friday is way more fun than making mac and cheese and playing Candy Land. I like to think that I pay well. I have well behaved kids and they go to bed early, so I think that sitting for me is a fairly easy and relatively enjoyable experience. There are far worse ways to earn $25.
Kristin had quite a few responses on her blog of women who felt the way she did -- that girls should provide their own transportation to the "job." How do you feel? How was it where you grew up? Is this a regional thing? A social class thing? I am curious. And Kristin -- I am interested to know if you will still feel the same way in six or seven years when your oldest begins babysitting and it is YOU that is piling all the kids in the car to take her to her jobs. Then again in five MORE years when you have THREE girls that will be babysitting and they all have to be different places at different times. I don't mean this to be argumentative, but I think of some of the families in our ward who have more than one or two young women who may be babysitting on the same night. I don't think that I want to be driving my girls to jobs when they are old enough. I guess my attitude is that if you want them to babysit, you can come get them!!
So, you all know how *I* feel -- how about you? If you aren't in my area and you feel comfortable telling me where you live or where you grew babysat growing up and what your experiences are, I would love to hear them and do a little "non scientific poll." Maybe I am just out in left field. And I hope I didn't offend anyone with my thoughts. Someone on Kristin's page strongly disagreed with my thought that the girls are doing me a favor. I still say that they are. Because if all of them opted to stay home I would have no social life at all.
13 comments:
Expecting your babysitter to find a ride?! I had never heard of such a thing until you mentioned it a few days ago. First of all, most of the babysitters that come to my house can't drive. I think it would be asking WAY too much of their parents to drive them. Picking up your sitter is just part of the deal.
When I was growing up I lived within walking distance of all the people I sat for, so it wasn't an issue. Since most sitters aren't old enough to drive I think it is asking too much to expect their parents to always bring them to your house, especially since a lot of the girls that sit have several little siblings at home that their mom would have to schlep along as well. When it all comes down to it, if you want to go out you'll do what ya gotta do!
I'm with you! I never *expect* them to find a way to my house, but it is always welcome when offered. As far as it being a job...we haven't hired anyone as a nanny (I would expect them to find a way in that case). They are doing us a favor so we can have a social life, or just a few hours to run errands without kids:) They haven't come to *us* begging to watch our kids, we call them up (sometimes with very short notice) and ask them to take care of our children. We expect them to do a good job, keeping our children safe (and I expect my house to be kept clean) and we pay them pretty well. It's a way for younger teens to start earning money.
I will expect families that Logan babysits for in the future to provide transportation, unless it it convenient for me to drop her off. I will only allow the mom to drive to and from the "job" in order to better protect Logan, and the father!
I concur with Jodi and Aundrea. Well said.
I didn't do much outside baby-sitting growing up (I was the oldest of 5 children so I was usually baby-sitting at home). But when I did baby-sit the parents always picked me up and always took me home.
I do the same now. When I ask a girl to baby-sit and invite her into my home I feel like I am responsible for her from the time she steps out of her house until she returns. That means picking her up, making sure our home is safe & providing her with multiple means for help should she need it (cell phone numbers, a ward directory sitting out, and our address written down next to 911) , and taking her back home (and waiting there until I see that she gets inside the house). I've always felt weird about the idea of asking or expecting a girl to get to my place on her own. Even when they live 2 blocks away -- I would still hop in the car (or walk down) and pick her up. Because this is something *I* asked her to do, I feel responsible for her every step of the way.
And I agree with Aundrea . . . . it's always ME that does the transportation for the sitter. I remember once or twice as a teen a dad picked me up for a job and it was the weirdest/most awkward/uncomfortable experience. Scott is adamant about staying out of that driving seat -- and for the 1 or 2 exceptions we've experienced, they were situations where I was gone and he's had to load up all of our kids as well.
I always got picked up when I baby sat. The only exceptions are the few times I babysat for people when I had my license and my own car but by that time I had a job and so I hardly ever babysat for anyone at all. I agree you pick up the babysitter unless they offer their own transport.
And I agree about the whole not letting dad pick up/drop off sitters. Just uncomfortable for all, and besides isn't there some movie about that? :)
So, being the originator of the polling, I am clearly in the "I expect the baby-sitter, as a general rule, to provide transportation to our home, but I will be responsible for taking them home" camp.
Baby-sitting here in Chicagoland isn't cheap, and for what I pay, and what the girls do, they can definitely find a way to my home, at least as a general rule. I do appreciate their willingness to come, but we are providing them a fun way to earn great money.
And when my girls are old enough to baby-sit (now ages 7, 5, and 2.5, I will take them to jobs as long as I am able. If only one or two of them have jobs on a particular night, then the third can stay home with the other kids at home while I run them over. If I can't for some reason, then the hiring family can decide to use someone else that night, or come get them. At least at that point I won't have all little kids that need to be strapped in and out of carseats like the hiring families might. I am happy to return the favor.
Such an interesting thing to learn that people have such diverse views on this, and that they feel so strongly about their views!
Interesting thoughts...I always got picked up and brought back home. I picked up babysitters and took them back home and I appreciate you for picking up Megan and bringing her back home - unless, of course, it's not dark out or raining hard and she can walk. I like the nanny comment - right - babysitting is a job but not in the same sense as hiring a nanny.
Where does Kristin live? Maybe it is a social or regional thing!
Jeff and I are often on our own dates or somewhere else when Megan is to be somewhere to babysit.
Again...interesting...
Kristin here...I grew up in the SF Bay Area...now we live in the Chicago suburbs.
I kind of see it both ways. It's nice when a the babysitter can get to your house on their own, but I don't have a problem going and picking someone up either. After all, there parents may have a social life the same evening I do and may not be able to bring them. Basically I think it should be discussed ahead of time and both sides should be very flexible. We do always take them home afterwards.
Oh boy, it's 11:00pm and I promised myself I would be in bed by...now. But I am very intrigued. This is definately something that is on my mind as Alyna turns 12 next week and babysitting jobs are in our future. I have to think about this for a minute, check my blog in the next few days if you are interested in my opinion.
No more music on your Blog??
I remember dropping off and picking up sitters. But that was way back in the dark ages when fathers were not afraid to do that sort of thing. Not a wise thing to do today.
Being in the economically impaired group--getting a babysitter is a rare treat. We have never been able to pay a babysitter a lot of money and so I almost consider it a service project with a little reward at the end:) for the babysitter. Saying that, I have been extremely grateful for those girls willing to watch my kids in spite of the less than lucrative nature of the work. We have always provided transportation and I always got picked up as a teenager. I try to take them and pick them up. When Tim has to he usually takes some of the kids with them. I am just grateful to have grandma and grandpa just down the street now. Three years without having to worry about that--yee ha!
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