Jaren

Oh, my sweet, sweet boy. This child has turned everything I learned about parenting from my girls inside-out. He is subborn, a tease, funny, darling, engaging, destructive, and oh-so-cute. He still isn't walking, but he can crawl faster than any baby I think I've seen. He has ZERO desire to walk. We put him behind the walker and he crumples to the floor because it is just TOO much effort. The only word he has said more than one is 'mama' and I hear this all day as he follows me around. Sometimes it's a question: mama?? Other times it's a statement: mama. Other times, it's a demand: maMA!!!!! He has said other words once or twice, but that seems to be enough for him. He's done. No performing from him. He won't even wave bye bye or clap any more. He CAN, he just won't. He can empty a drawer with lightening speed. He has a sixth sense about the stair gate. He can tell if it's not up and if it isn't he ONLY wants to get up the stairs. He loves to tease Kramer by taking his toys away from him and holding them out of reach. Then he will feed Kramer all of his dinner if he doesn't like it. Everything goes over the side of the high chair. We have a very picky boy and a very well fed dog. He loves the Eensy Weensy Spider and can do the actions. Kinda. He knows where his head and nose are. He knows where socks and hats go. He loves his blankie. He will cuddle up to me when he knows it's time for naps and we are heading to bed. But if he doesn't WANT to go to bed he will entertain himself for HOURS before finally falling asleep at night. He loves music and enjoys "helping" me teach my piano students. When I put him in his playpen so my students can play solos instead of duets he launches everything out of the playpen with the arm of a major league pitcher.

He is a boy of a thousand expressions. He smiles all time time. Especially when he is being told "no." But not when he is getting his picture taken. For that we can't even keep him STILL. It took TWO photo sessions to get pictures that will work to make into wallets for Christmas Cards (both girls have school pictures, I can't leave him out!). We got many great CANDID shots, lots of great "looking down at the toy we gave him in hopes that he would stay still" shots. But he was NOT cooperative for the "sit still, smile, and look cute" shots. The kid is 15 months old. I should give him a break. Shannon was very patient and insisted that we come back to try again and yesterday we got some really good ones. Here are some of my favorites:

I love this one. Shannon's four year old son wanted to see the Halloween Snow Globe that Jaren has and this his his "not on your life" look:

Hot Pockets

My sister introduced me to this comedian (Jim Gaffigan) a few years ago (not literally...) and this skit just about makes me pee my pants. Maybe it's because I lived almost exclusively off of Hot Pockets in college. Enjoy! Oh, and I have disabled my music while this is the top post, so if you really MUST hear "How to Save a Life" in the background, you can scroll down and manually press play.

Natural Beauty??

On my playgroup board we were once challenged to list ALL of the health and beauty products we use in a typical day that we leave the house. We had to put the "leave the house" part on there because as Moms we all have days where showers don't happen, the only make up we use is chapstick and we're lucky if our teeth get brushed. At least I have those days. But anyway...

I was thinking about how much I love to read the personal histories of my ancestors where they talk about day to day life. Not so much the BIG things, but what they ate, what they wore, how they did things. So in an attempt to document "Typical Life: 2007," here are the health and beauty products I use on a typical day (in no particular order):

1. Toilet Paper
2. Charmin Flushable Wipes
3. Toothbrush (disposable, free from my dentist, soft bristles)
4. Colgate Total Toothpaste
5. Dental Floss
6. Listerine Vanilla Mint Mouthwash (and no, it is NOT less intense)
7. Loreal Vive Shampoo
8. Loreal Vive Conditioner
9. Dial Antibacterial Body Wash
10. Venus Razor
11. Neutrogena Facial Cleansing Cloths
12. Aveeno Face Moisturizer
13. Silk Ease Leave In Hair Serum
14. Foundation Makeup
15. Pressed Powder
16. Blush
17. Eyeshadow
18. Eyeliner (sometimes -- if I'm feeling sassy)
19. Mascara
20. Eyebrow Pencil
21. Vaseline (on my lips)
22. Lip Stick (again -- if I'm feeling sassy)
23. Tweezers
24. Blow Dryer
25. Flat Iron
26. Flat Vent Brush
27. Panty Liner
28. Other "Feminine Products" As Necessary
29. Hair Pomade
30. Hair Spray
31. Deodorant
32. Hand Soap
33. Hand Sanitizer
34. Curel Calming Lotion (for my eternally itchy legs)
35. Hand Cream (to keep my hands from drying out from all the sanitizer)
36. Fingernail Clippers
38. Multi Vitamin
39. Shower Pouf
40. Bobby Pins or other Hair Clips (to keep my bangs out of my face)

It takes alot to be low maintenance!! Hee hee.

Another Milestone

Today I am 15 lbs lighter than I was on September 1st! I even took a celebratory side shot for my "Then and Now" file. I am doing my best "suck it in a twist" pose that they do for all the NutraSystem ads.My friend Tanya was right in her comment to me -- once my PMS week was done, the weight fell back off and is still going. And here's my secret, gals. I have candy. Every day. I have a bucket in my cupboard that has Dove Dark Chocolates, Reisens, and mini Peppermint Patties. If I have a good balanced lunch or dinner I will SLOWLY eat just one. It takes the edge off of my sugar cravings. While I eat it I total up my calories, fat, carbs, fiber, and protein for the day to that point. And I always count the candy in my totals. And I never have the candy in the middle of the day. It is strictly for right after eating so the protein and fiber in the meal will help with the digestion and processing of the fat. So now you know!



In other news, Jillise's school was in lockdown this morning when I went to drop her and her friend Grayson off for school. Talk about chaotic. It happened only 10 minutes before we got there, so there was NO information out on the radio, there wasn't even anyone out to tell us why the parking lot was barricaded off. There was TONS of traffic and I just figured that there was a fender bender (there are LOTS of parents who drop kids off and some haven't had their morning go-juice before throwing on a robe to drive to the school). Then I hear it is lockdown. I was surprised how many parents had just pulled over to wait it out. Uh, not me. It was FREEZING outside and who knows how long that could have lasted. So we came home to wait it out. It was lifted about 15 minutes later. Turns out that someone called in a tip from a bus that another student had a gun. So they locked down BOTH elementary schools (since the same buses go to both schools) until they could track it down. Turns out it was a rifle scope and not a real gun. Phew. That's better than the possible scenario *I* had in my head of an armed fugitive running through the city. Jillise was only freaked out for a minute. Then she was mad that this happened on the day when it was HER turn to be "class president" and lead the class in lines and carry the lunch basket. Priorities, you know.

50 Things About Brian

1. Is the second of 11 children
2. Loves the UNC Tarheels Mens Basketball Team
3. Is a Certified Public Accountant
4. He passed the CPA exam on his first try.
5. He graduated Summa Cum Laude from BYU
6. He wasn't supposed to have a job when he was getting his MAcc because then he wouldn't have time to do his school work. He had two (at the same time).
7. He served a mission to Bahia Blanca, Argentina.
8. He started off college as a pre-med major. I helped him realize he wanted to change it.
9. It's a good thing he did because he does NOT have the constitution for blood and guts and gross smells. He would be the doctor dry-heaving in his first surgery as an intern and we would have to start school all over again.
10. He makes German Pancakes for all of us on Sunday mornings.
11. He is the cleaning Nazi with the girls. He can't STAND it when the toyroom is messy. For me, it's the one room I let go because it is impossible to KEEP clean.
12. He gets up at 4:30 every morning and gets to work before 6:00.
13. He has worked at a half dozen different fast food places to save money for his mission. When I first met him he was working at Taco Bell, Hardees, AND Dairy Queen.
14. He was almost prohibited from going to Argentina because he had two bulging discs in his back that they were afraid would need surgery. He got a blessing and they have not bothered him since.
15. He hates the dentist because he had a bad experience with one who insisted on filling a cavity with no pain meds because it "wasn't that deep." It WAS that deep.
16. His favorite Disney movie is Pete's Dragon.
17. He loves to play basketball.
18. He is not a big fan of large crowds. He is kind of a homebody.
19. He wears a long sleeve shirt and tie to work every day. I love it. :)
20. He plays the piano, the guitar, and he is the new ward choir director.
21. He is very frugal. That is good for me, because I am not.
22. He is a huge Harry Connick Jr. fan.
23. On his mission the Argentinians (Argentines?) called him "Cabeson." I don't know how to spell it -- it means "Big Head."
24. He can write his talks for church SO quickly -- complete with scripture references, stories, and quotes. Then he delivers it like it was nothing. Drives me CRAZY.
25. He loves to read Fantasy books (like Robert Jordan, Lord of the Rings, and Terry Brooks stuff). But he is not as nerdy as MOST of the people who read those books. Thank goodness.
26. I love listening to him and his brothers swap stories about growing up. Some of them have grown into legends (like his brother jumping off of the two story landing in the foyer to escape his father who saw that he had gotten his ear pierced). When the get together everyone usually laughs until they cry.
27. He is a good sport and will go along with things that I insist we do (like get family pictures done) even though he would MUCH rather do something else.
28. He hates, hates, HATES to shop. Window or otherwise.
29. Quantity over Quality when it comes to eating out. He would rather have a HUGE plate of cheeseburger and fries than a small serving of the best steak and garlic mashed potatoes.
30. Is sensory defensive about cotton balls. The thought of a cotton ball or a Q-Tip makes him cringe.
31. Says his favorite color is "aquamarine." I'm pretty sure he likes plain blue, but as the daddy of girls he has to be creative to keep their attention.
32. Of all the things I cook or bake, his favorite is the Butterfinger Icecream Pie recipe that I got from my grandmother. Mmmmm. I *will* be breaking my diet to eat a piece of that this Christmas.
33. Is of good pioneer stock. Relatives from both parents lived in Nauvoo and crossed the plains to Utah. His great great great... grandfather was David P. Kimball who helped rescue the saints at the Sweetwater River.
34. Claims to hate our dog Kramer, but loves to have Kramer sit on his lap on the couch to watch sports and loves to torture/play with him.
35. Likes to sleep in a room that is totally dark. Before we got our chocolate brown drapes he would sleep with a sleeping blindfold on. He also has to have a fan AND a noisemaker on.
36. Is useless for the first five minutes of being awakened in the middle of the night. He has no idea where he is, what is going on, or how to deal with it. Heaven help us if there is ever a fire.
37. Reads Little House on the Prairie books to the girls every night that he can.
38. Was born in Provo, Utah.
39. Has lived in Provo, Green River, WY, Cedar City, UT, Beaumont, TX, and the Saint Louis area.
40. My mom thought I should marry Brian soon after she met him. She loved how down to earth he was. One of my earliest memories with him was in the kitchen of my house. I was making brownies and he was reading the paper. We were like an old married couple already!!
41. Loves to golf, though he hasn't had much time to do it lately.
42. Is a whiz with Excel. He can put anything into a spreadsheet and have charts and graphs within 30 minutes. When we first started losing weight he had all of my progress mapped out for me!
43. Hates vegetables. The only ones he will eat without protest are corn and potatoes. And weren't those reclassified as starches?
44. Has very straight teeth and never needed braces. I think he is a bit miffed that the kids got MY teeth and will all need orthodontic work.
45. Is a Republican.
46. Has incredibly fast growing fingernails and toenails.
47. Has great respect for his parents.
48. When he called to tell my parents he planned to ask me to marry him, my brother answered the phone saying, "Five Buck Pizza." Brian freaked out and hung up. Now when I call his cell phone, that is how he answers.
49. My proposal was a huge surprise, orchestrated by him. We had never talked about marriage, but he had my sister help him to pick up the ring, and he got us front row tickets to a show, he made a big fancy dinner, it was really nice and a HUGE surprise.
50. He is a fantastic husband and father. He works hard to provide for us, he is always happy to see us at the end of the day, he never yells (at me or the kids), he makes us all laugh. I count my lucky stars every day that I am married to him and that he saw me for the "work in progress" that I am (and always will be) and kept me anyway!!

A Job For You

Okay, I am tagging everyone (including myself) to come up with a list of 30 things about their HUSBANDS to put on the blog. Most of us have listed our "100 Things About Me," can you come up with 30 things about your hubby? With minimal help? I loved reading about my girlfriends, now I want to get to know the men in their lives a little better. I am going to start mine today. I don't know how hard or easy it will be. Maybe when I get on a roll I'll finish quickly.

UPDATE: I am upping the ante, gals. I just typed out my list of 30 things in about 10 minutes without too much effort. And I think it's the things we really have to THINK about that are the most interesting to read. So now I want you to come up with 50 things. I thought of several while I was in the shower. So I am taking down my list of 30 (in case some of you have already seen it) and will add my 20 more items. I may have to ask for some help from Brian for the last few.

Uh, Oh

Which TV Mom Are You?

My Result: Roseanne Connor

You are Roseanne Connor from Roseanne. You've probably got a sarcastic streak, and you may take some pleasure in embarrassing your brood. But ultimately, your kids know that when they really, really, really need to talk about something, you will listen...eventually. Truth is, you tend to see things from their points of view; you just don't like to let them in on that until necessary. That's your little secret. And while it may not be your style (or fit your schedule) to compulsively whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies, if your kids want to microwave some popcorn and watch TV with you, there's always room on the couch, and even on your lap.

Take this test >