Monday, October 7, 2013
Perfect Fall Soup
Tonight's dinner is Potato Ham Chowder. I posted the recipe on here about five years ago (you know, back when I blogged more often than once every 18 months...) but I thought I'd repost it for anyone who is interested. Great way to use up left over ham. And I now use fat free half and half whenever I can. It thickens up the soup perfectly and I can't taste a difference. And a few drops of Tabasco in your bowl adds some delightful heat. :) Enjoy!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
What's for Dinner?
A few weeks ago I began posting my two week menus on Facebook to show off my new chalkboard wall and also so I could access the menu when I am away from home to know what's on the docket for the evening. Several people asked how I do it and for some of the recipes. I started a Facebook post, but figured this would be an easier way to answer the questions and revive my dead blog at the same time!
The menu planning system I have right now has evolved over many years. I have had this same system now for years and as long as I stick to it, it works (imagine that).
We live about 35 minutes from Costco and all low cost grocery stores. Locally we have a Safeway and a Fred Meyer which have everything I need, but is about 20% more expensive. When I began menu planning I also had young children, making grocery shopping a less than pleasant experience. So I would go on Saturday mornings when Brian was at home so I could get done faster and without "help." But I felt guilty missing part of our only "family day" where we could go do things, so I planned ahead and shopped for two weeks at a time. This also worked with Brian's pay schedule of getting paid every other Friday.
Here is my routine:
The menu planning system I have right now has evolved over many years. I have had this same system now for years and as long as I stick to it, it works (imagine that).
We live about 35 minutes from Costco and all low cost grocery stores. Locally we have a Safeway and a Fred Meyer which have everything I need, but is about 20% more expensive. When I began menu planning I also had young children, making grocery shopping a less than pleasant experience. So I would go on Saturday mornings when Brian was at home so I could get done faster and without "help." But I felt guilty missing part of our only "family day" where we could go do things, so I planned ahead and shopped for two weeks at a time. This also worked with Brian's pay schedule of getting paid every other Friday.
Here is my routine:
- I have a double sided planning sheet that I made years ago and made dozens of copies of. On one side is a spot to list the next 14 days and figure out what we will be eating. I take a look at my calendar to see what is coming up that will affect dinner (church activities, concerts, Brian's meetings, kids activities, guests, etc) and fill those in. I have some things that never change. Brian has meetings every Tuesday and isn't here for dinner. So on those days I usually make something that he doesn't like (like breakfast for dinner) or that is cheap and easy. Jillise also has to be picked up from dance at 6:00 and leave for Young Women at 7:00, so I need something that can be cooked and eaten in less than 30 minutes. Friday is usually pizza day, in some form or another. It's nice to have two days that are filled in without any thought. :)
 |
| Side one of my Menu Planning Sheet |
- I open up Pinterest and pull out my recipe box, old menus, magazines, and whatever else I feel like using for inspiration for that two weeks and start plugging the meals into the menu! Some of my favorite recipe sites are Our Best Bites and the Pioneer Woman. Both sites have realistic family meals that don't require exotic palates ore hours of prep time. I am also a subscriber of Food Network Magazine, and Taste of Home. But some of my best recipes are from those little cookbooks in the checkout aisle and from old church/school compilation cookbooks! I read cookbooks and cooking magazines for fun. Even if I only use one or two recipes in each book, I love the ideas I get from just flipping through them!
 |
| I have a slight cookbook obsession... |
- Now for the actual shopping list. I went online and looked up the map of the Winco where I usually shop and made a shopping list template that is organized by aisle. I go down my menu and just start filling in the ingredients that I need into the aisle where they can be found. This makes for the fastest shopping experience possible and I love that I am not pushing a loaded cart back to an aisle I've already been to to get something I missed. Don't forget to write in staple items that you may be out of, and lunch and breakfast items! I only menu plan dinners, but I make sure I have cereal, lunch items, and snack stuff on hand all the time, too.
 |
| My aisle by aisle shopping list |
- If there is something I need that I can't get at Winco, there is a space on the planning sheet to write down other stores and what I need from them. There is also a place to write down perishable items needed for the mid-menu shopping trip that I do on the middle Saturday. This trip is for milk, bread, and produce needed for the second half of the menu. Usually I do this at one of the local grocery stores.
- I used to guestimate my cost aisle by aisle. This helped me stay on budget. After I had been doing this for a while I could guestimate my total cost within $10. I no longer do this because I seem to subconsciously evenly distribute expensive meals and cheap meals across my menu and I am within $25 of my budget each shopping trip, without even trying.
- First, I am only subjecting myself to the zoo that is Winco twice a month. That means I only have to haul in the bags and put things away twice a month, too.
- I love having an answer to "What's for dinner?" Jaren likes to see what's coming up so he can prepare himself for the battle ahead (he is a super picky eater).
- I love knowing what I have ingredients for! I don't always stick to the menu. Things pop up and I often need to steal an easy meal from later in the menu to replace the planned meal that I don't have time to make. Sometimes we may just end up eating at McDonalds. In that case, that meal gets moved to later in the week to replace a meal that is frozen, so that frozen meal can be used in the next menu rotation.
So, that's it. The pre-shopping planning takes me about 45 minutes, and I am in and out of Winco in about an hour. We also end up eating out MUCH less when I am vigilant with my menu. When I don't take the time to plan, then dinner time rolls around and all I have is frozen meat and random ingredients. So we end up eating out. Or I go to the store and buy random dinner foods and end up spending way more than I should have.
How do you plan your menus?
Monday, March 7, 2011
Happiness Is...
Being able to wear boots and skinny jeans. Now, I don't think that I am skinny, but the boots are a big deal for me. For the past two years I have watched the cute trend of boots and jeans and had to sit out. Because for some reason when I gain weight I hold a LOT of it in my short, stubby legs. The only reason I had black dress boots for church this winter is because I found some with an extra zipper panel to accommodate the "athletic calf." (That was a genius marketing move, though it totally makes me laugh. The reason I need the extra 2" is because I am anything BUT athletic -- but who wants to buy a boot "for fat legs?")
I have known that I need to change my eating and workout habits for a long time. Last spring I went through a bit of depression where I went around and around in my head trying to figure out if I was depressed because I was lazy, or lazy because I was depressed. It's an odd sensation to be in my head, watching myself eat things I shouldn't, watch the scale numbers go up and up, watching my friends and family have success with their weight loss and being genuinely happy for them, but not able to make any long term commitment myself. I knew what I needed to do, I had the tools at my disposal, but it seems that I had to see that predetermined "maximum weight" on the scale before I was able to go for it. I saw the number the week of Christmas, so I started January 1st. And it's working.
The last few times I have had any success with losing weight I was part of a "Lose 10%" contest. Plain and simple, you put in your money, you have 12 weeks to lose 10% of your body weight, and if you are successful you get your money back, plus a portion of the money forfeited by the people who were not successful. The first contest was a piece of cake. My body responded to the exercises I was doing and the healthy diet changes. But my weight crept back up again and I found myself in the same position about two years later. But the next contest was a different experience. The weight was not coming off like it did before. I was working out and eating right and I felt like I was having to scratch and claw for every tenth of a pound. I made my goal, but barely. I had to do a juice fast the last weekend of the contest just to make it, but I had put so much work into it that I was NOT going to lose that money. Three months later my hair started falling out as a result of the stress of those last weeks. And needless to say, the frustration of the experience did not help the "good" habits to stick. All I wanted to do was eat food that made me happy and lie around. I was almost rebelling against myself. Which led to the depression issues, on and on and on.
So this time there is no "deadline." I got an iPod Touch for Christmas and I downloaded the intelli-diet. It is a fantastic little app that helps you eat right. No fads, no calorie counting. You input your weight, how much you exercise, and how many pounds you want to lose a week (up to two). They give you a huge list of foods and you choose the ones you like to eat and it makes meals and snacks for you. Its fantastic. And it works. It focuses on healthy fats, whole grains, fruits and veggies, and lean proteins. There are of course no sweets on the plan, but I have allowed myself to eat those when I feel that I am struggling. And I am still losing weight. I can't recommend it highly enough. Best $4 I ever spent.
I cancelled my gym membership and started the Couch to 5K plan that first week of January. My fantastic neighbor, Michelle, allowed me to use their treadmill in their garage, since running in the cold and wet does not appeal to me at ALL. In January I was struggling to run for two minutes at a time, but I am currently running over two MILES at a time. My 5K is on April 9th and I know I will be ready. It may take me 40 minutes, but I will do it. And my body seems to like the running. Even though I have slacked off on my workouts the days I don't run (the C25K program only has me running three days a week) I am still seeing success. This weekend we even bought our very OWN treadmill! She's a beaut.
And here's the kicker. I am happy. Trying to lose weight is not all consuming. I am not beating myself up if I don't do an ab workout. The 5K on the calendar keeps me running every week, but I am finding that it's enjoyable. I like setting a goal before the run and the sense of accomplishment when I reach it. I will always be tempted to eat something I shouldn't (Hostess Cupcake, anyone?), and sometimes I will make the right choice and sometimes I won't. But I am not going to panic about it.
I am looking forward to my thighs not rubbing together when I walk -- someday. And maybe even running a 10K -- someday. But for now I am just happy to be wearing cute boots.
I have known that I need to change my eating and workout habits for a long time. Last spring I went through a bit of depression where I went around and around in my head trying to figure out if I was depressed because I was lazy, or lazy because I was depressed. It's an odd sensation to be in my head, watching myself eat things I shouldn't, watch the scale numbers go up and up, watching my friends and family have success with their weight loss and being genuinely happy for them, but not able to make any long term commitment myself. I knew what I needed to do, I had the tools at my disposal, but it seems that I had to see that predetermined "maximum weight" on the scale before I was able to go for it. I saw the number the week of Christmas, so I started January 1st. And it's working.
The last few times I have had any success with losing weight I was part of a "Lose 10%" contest. Plain and simple, you put in your money, you have 12 weeks to lose 10% of your body weight, and if you are successful you get your money back, plus a portion of the money forfeited by the people who were not successful. The first contest was a piece of cake. My body responded to the exercises I was doing and the healthy diet changes. But my weight crept back up again and I found myself in the same position about two years later. But the next contest was a different experience. The weight was not coming off like it did before. I was working out and eating right and I felt like I was having to scratch and claw for every tenth of a pound. I made my goal, but barely. I had to do a juice fast the last weekend of the contest just to make it, but I had put so much work into it that I was NOT going to lose that money. Three months later my hair started falling out as a result of the stress of those last weeks. And needless to say, the frustration of the experience did not help the "good" habits to stick. All I wanted to do was eat food that made me happy and lie around. I was almost rebelling against myself. Which led to the depression issues, on and on and on.
So this time there is no "deadline." I got an iPod Touch for Christmas and I downloaded the intelli-diet. It is a fantastic little app that helps you eat right. No fads, no calorie counting. You input your weight, how much you exercise, and how many pounds you want to lose a week (up to two). They give you a huge list of foods and you choose the ones you like to eat and it makes meals and snacks for you. Its fantastic. And it works. It focuses on healthy fats, whole grains, fruits and veggies, and lean proteins. There are of course no sweets on the plan, but I have allowed myself to eat those when I feel that I am struggling. And I am still losing weight. I can't recommend it highly enough. Best $4 I ever spent.
I cancelled my gym membership and started the Couch to 5K plan that first week of January. My fantastic neighbor, Michelle, allowed me to use their treadmill in their garage, since running in the cold and wet does not appeal to me at ALL. In January I was struggling to run for two minutes at a time, but I am currently running over two MILES at a time. My 5K is on April 9th and I know I will be ready. It may take me 40 minutes, but I will do it. And my body seems to like the running. Even though I have slacked off on my workouts the days I don't run (the C25K program only has me running three days a week) I am still seeing success. This weekend we even bought our very OWN treadmill! She's a beaut.
And here's the kicker. I am happy. Trying to lose weight is not all consuming. I am not beating myself up if I don't do an ab workout. The 5K on the calendar keeps me running every week, but I am finding that it's enjoyable. I like setting a goal before the run and the sense of accomplishment when I reach it. I will always be tempted to eat something I shouldn't (Hostess Cupcake, anyone?), and sometimes I will make the right choice and sometimes I won't. But I am not going to panic about it.
I am looking forward to my thighs not rubbing together when I walk -- someday. And maybe even running a 10K -- someday. But for now I am just happy to be wearing cute boots.
Friday, February 25, 2011
It's ALIVE!!!!
So, August 29, 2009, huh? Nice. I guess I took a blogging break. I'm not entirely sure why I needed it, but I did. I had to figure out why I was blogging. What I liked in other blogs. Why so many of us have this need to put our lives out there for everyone to see. And you know what I came up with after a year and a half? Absolutely nothing. I have some ideas:
I think that Facebook contributed to my lack of blogging in a big way. Why spend an hour uploading deep thoughts with pictures when a 160 character witty comment will do?
I think my paper thin skin had something to do with it. I don't "do" confrontation and I was frustrated with strangers trying to take up debate with my thoughts. For that reason, I may decide to disable comments. But I don't want to do that, so if you want to argue with someone, please go somewhere else. Like my banner says, this space is about ME. No apologies. I reserve the right to delete comments if I feel like it. Deal with it.
I think my frustration with the "my life is perfect" blogs had something to do with it. Those people who blog about how perfectly darling their children are and how crafty they are and how perfectly perfect their life is. I am not those things. Sometimes I have a good morning. Sometimes I even do a craft or two. I read a blog recently where someone related blogging to "show and tell." Most people just bring their shiniest, newest toy to the big event, ignoring all of of the well loved, worn out toys that really tell a story. I was afraid that by displaying my "broken in" toys on the blog that I was portraying myself and my family in a less than ideal light, when compared to the other "still in box" toys that are out there on display.
So, as my first order of business, I am displaying an old, broken toy. I REALLY don't like snow. I think it's pretty, I like it when it cancels school. I don't like that it is cold, and that the cold turns to wet. I don't like all of the special layers that are necessary just to go "play" in it. I don't like driving in it and all of the Pacific Northwest drivers who THINK that they know what they are doing in this stuff. I don't like cleaning up the puddles on my floor after my kids track it inside. Yes, this makes me a TOTAL lame-o mom. My poor kids. They will never learn to ski. They will never have their mom drive them to the school parking lot to do donuts when there is no school. I *WILL* offer to turn on the gas fireplace and play Rummikub. Does that count?
And so I don't end on a downer of a "welcome back" post, here are our most recent family pictures, taken by the fantastically fantastic Kamee June this fall when we ran away from home for a week to the beautiful fantasy land that is Southern California:
I also have to give a shout out to Katrina Kirk who did my hair and makeup and made me look and feel like a movie star.
I think that Facebook contributed to my lack of blogging in a big way. Why spend an hour uploading deep thoughts with pictures when a 160 character witty comment will do?
I think my paper thin skin had something to do with it. I don't "do" confrontation and I was frustrated with strangers trying to take up debate with my thoughts. For that reason, I may decide to disable comments. But I don't want to do that, so if you want to argue with someone, please go somewhere else. Like my banner says, this space is about ME. No apologies. I reserve the right to delete comments if I feel like it. Deal with it.
I think my frustration with the "my life is perfect" blogs had something to do with it. Those people who blog about how perfectly darling their children are and how crafty they are and how perfectly perfect their life is. I am not those things. Sometimes I have a good morning. Sometimes I even do a craft or two. I read a blog recently where someone related blogging to "show and tell." Most people just bring their shiniest, newest toy to the big event, ignoring all of of the well loved, worn out toys that really tell a story. I was afraid that by displaying my "broken in" toys on the blog that I was portraying myself and my family in a less than ideal light, when compared to the other "still in box" toys that are out there on display.
So, as my first order of business, I am displaying an old, broken toy. I REALLY don't like snow. I think it's pretty, I like it when it cancels school. I don't like that it is cold, and that the cold turns to wet. I don't like all of the special layers that are necessary just to go "play" in it. I don't like driving in it and all of the Pacific Northwest drivers who THINK that they know what they are doing in this stuff. I don't like cleaning up the puddles on my floor after my kids track it inside. Yes, this makes me a TOTAL lame-o mom. My poor kids. They will never learn to ski. They will never have their mom drive them to the school parking lot to do donuts when there is no school. I *WILL* offer to turn on the gas fireplace and play Rummikub. Does that count?
And so I don't end on a downer of a "welcome back" post, here are our most recent family pictures, taken by the fantastically fantastic Kamee June this fall when we ran away from home for a week to the beautiful fantasy land that is Southern California:
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Saturday Stuff
- Went to see Fiddler on the Roof with my sister. Topol played the roll of Tevya in his farewell tour. He was the guy in the movie My first thought when I saw the advertisement: That guy is still alive???? Boy is he! He was fantastic. Almost 74 years old and he was kicking up his heels and dancing and singing. The program said that he has performed this roll more than 2500 times. You would never know it. It was a great evening.
- Took a family outing to the discount grocery store today. Not exactly the kids' idea of FUN, but it beats them fighting with each other at home while Brian watches TV and I do it by myself. Joelle helped me get stuff off of the shelf and Brian and Jillise were my human calculators. I would tell them how much to add to our running total and Jillise would add it up in her head while Brian helped keep track of that number in between items. Jaren was actually pretty good.
- School starts in less than two weeks. Crazy. We didn't do 75% of the stuff I had planned to do. Oh, well. There is always next summer. It felt weird today to be shopping for lunch box items. I think I have my piano student schedule about set. This fall will be interesting. Jillise's ballet classes move to twice a week, Joelle goes once. Jillise still has piano lessons and now we have Activity Days for church every other Wednesday, too. I am still mentally adjusting to the fact that Joelle will be in school all day!
- Weight loss is moving right along. I am four weeks down out of 12 and am ahead of schedule a little, so I have some wiggle room if the weight loss slows down a bit in the end. I finally got to remove the first "gold link" from my chain today and rewarded myself with a Deluxe Pedicure. I had a gift certificate that I was saving for just this. It was HEAVEN. Now I have pretty toes. At least until I ram my big toe into something and crack the nail.
- I'm going to see Julie and Julia this week. I'm excited. It will be a fun Girls Night Out.
- The amount of crumbs under my table after every meal. Seriously?? Do my children actually get ANY food into their mouths?? Cuz I'm thinking no. It's when I am sweeping up piles of cold cereal, chips, taco meat, and dried cheese that I really miss Kramer (the dog that now lives with my parents).
- I've been making all of our bread for a few months now. I love it. Sadly, it has done nothing to help curb my desire for carbs. I have been known to eat nothing but protein for breakfast and snack so I can have a PBandJ sandwich for lunch. Heaven. It's the simple things.
- Now that I am craving a sandwich I am going to go make dinner so I can go do my cardio AND weights workout tonight. I slacked yesterday and tomorrow is my rest day so I have to get my burn on beforehand.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Want To Do It MySEFF!!
We have entered the Age of Independence. That period in every two, three, or four year-olds life when they are CONVINCED that they can do everything for themselves. That period where our family is now perpetually late for everything. It starts first thing in the morning. Not only does he have to GET dressed by himself, it takes him two to three minutes just to choose what design he wants on his pullups/undies. Then he has to get the stool, open the freezer, get the waffles, and put them in the toaster. Then use the tongs to REMOVE them from the toaster. He has to put his own sandals on , buckle himself in his carseat (which is new and which he cannot do very well yet -- and if he feels the car move just a fraction of an inch he screams bloody murder). He wants to choose what he eats every day and what we watch on TV.
In some ways this stage is nice because it does lead to REAL Independence. But in many ways I miss just being able to do it for him (quickly) and being on time for things. Unfortunately Jillise inherited my need to be prompt and Jaren just frustrates her to no end. But any attempt to hurry Jaren up results in one of two things: He will either throw a screaming tantrum all the way to event (resulting in being on time but so disruptive that you have to leave again to discipline him in the hallway), or he will throw a screaming fit until you give in at home and let him START OVER doing it on his own (resulting in being late).
So please excuse Paige's tardiness on _____________ (fill in the date). She is attempting to teach life skills to a three year old headstrong little boy without losing her mind in the process. I would like to state that this will never happen again, but quite frankly, that would be a lie.
Sincerely,
Paige's Conscience
In some ways this stage is nice because it does lead to REAL Independence. But in many ways I miss just being able to do it for him (quickly) and being on time for things. Unfortunately Jillise inherited my need to be prompt and Jaren just frustrates her to no end. But any attempt to hurry Jaren up results in one of two things: He will either throw a screaming tantrum all the way to event (resulting in being on time but so disruptive that you have to leave again to discipline him in the hallway), or he will throw a screaming fit until you give in at home and let him START OVER doing it on his own (resulting in being late).
So please excuse Paige's tardiness on _____________ (fill in the date). She is attempting to teach life skills to a three year old headstrong little boy without losing her mind in the process. I would like to state that this will never happen again, but quite frankly, that would be a lie.
Sincerely,
Paige's Conscience
Friday, August 21, 2009
Joy
I have been doing quite a bit of reflection lately on joy. What is it? What makes us happy? What makes us UNhappy? My friend Candy did a fabulous Relief Society lesson on this a few weeks ago on how PURE joy comes from a full understanding of the atonement and the ability to be worthy enough to take advantage of that gift. This got my wheels turning, but it was watching the events in two friends lives that really made me start to think. I know one of these friends reads my blog, I doubt the other one does. I really don't want to offend ANYONE, this is just my observation of what is shown on the outside and how I perceive things to be.
My first friend grew up in a very active LDS family but quickly went inactive upon leaving home after high school. Married someone with the same background. Both are FABULOUS people. Their wedding was *so* wonderful. I enjoyed keeping in touch with them through the years. Both are very successful at what they do. They built a gorgeous house. They have a beautiful daughter. They are very busy. Both became involved in spiritualism and self mastery. They are the ones who got me hooked on being fit. They are amazingly healthy and beautiful and they work hard to maintain that. I was in awe that they were SO disciplined that they ate 100% clean and structured six days out of the week. No cheating. At all. They were so patient with me when I COULDN'T do that. But they fully believed that I could do ANYTHING I set my mind to do. They are charitable and give to others. They quote the Tao and meditate. They take excursions to other countries to study their spiritual traditions.
For years I was convinced that they were happy, living out their dreams and finding their destiny. Lately I have been working more closely with them as I am on my latest weigh loss push -- communicating with them more frequently. And I started to see things I hadn't seen before. I noticed things. Like that the searching they are doing for a higher "plane" of existence is never ending. One philosophy negates another. And their searches were taking them in different directions. Instead of working together toward one unified goal, they were searching for whatever resonated with them as individuals. I found that even with all of their giving and sharing and working to build up others, their marriage was failing.
When they first told me their philosophy "there is no right and wrong," I found it quite strange and I was interested to see how they taught that concept to their daughter. I knew from my experience with my own kids that they need to be taught and given boundaries. The more I thought about it, I realized that the reason I couldn't wrap my head around it is because it goes against the basic laws of the universe that we are taught in the scriptures. Adam had to eat of the fruit so he COULD know right from wrong. So he could experience Health and Sickness. Pleasure and Pain. JOY and Sorrow. Without one, there isn't the other. So if the world has no right and wrong, then we cease to feel. I came to see that through all of that self mastery and meditation and study, they may be finding knowledge of new things and ideas, and maybe some peace, but not happiness. I would venture to say they are probably more confused than when they started. And the fact that they are now searching alone, without each other, is the very epitome of sadness, if you ask me.
I even started to notice through facebook updates that the strict diet had led them to forget just how much fun eating good food WHEN you want to eat it can be. Or just going out with friends and living life -- even if it doesn't bring you to a higher understanding of the universe. All things in moderation.
My second friend was raised in the gospel. I've known her my whole life. Great LDS family. She married in the temple and has four fantastic kids. They moved into a house with room for the kids to play, but I don't think it was anything new or fancy. She worked hard to live frugally and was even able to save up enough to surprise her husband with a trip to Europe so they could visit where he served his mission. Her husband is a teacher/coach and she stays at home to raise their young children.
A year and a half ago, her husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer in the esophagus. Statistically, the long term outlook for this type of cancer is not good. There were fasts held, and blessings were given. The community rallied around them. Friends redecorated her living room. Teachers gave up their sick leave so he could still receive paychecks while recovering from chemo and radiation. Her blog was ALWAYS optimistic and upbeat. They kept a sense of humor about things. I'm sure that they had moments of sadness and fear, but the prevailing attitude was one of faith. This battle with the cancer has been a roller coaster. Great news, followed by questionable PET scans. Hair growing back in and weight being gained again, only to be told that they have to do another round of chemo. I think it is natural to be on the outside of this situation and wonder how we would fare if we were IN it. I would like to think that I would be a strong as they have been, but I don't know.
What really made me realize the depth of her faith was when I did my blog post about joining the weight loss challenge. On Sunday night she contacted me and let me know that this is JUST what she needed and that she wanted to do it, too. Not a huge deal, until you know that her husband was scheduled to have surgery the very next day to remove another tumor from his neck. A surgery that had many question marks attached to it. They didn't know if the tumor would be connected to any major arteries or veins. Or if they would get in there and find that they cancer had spread to other organs or lymph nodes, requiring more surgery and chemo... or worse.
A weaker person (ie, ME) would have thought, "Gee, I would love to do that type of a contest, but I just can't commit to that right now. Who KNOWS what is going to happen tomorrow during the surgery and I don't want to be out my $50 before I even get started!!" But she didn't. She said, "I need to do this for ME, I have faith that Heavenly Father is in control and I will be able to handle whatever happens and I am going forward with faith." Okay, she didn't really say that, but that is what struck me when she made this commitment. Oh, and by the way -- the surgery was wildly successful. The tumor was connected to the body with fine layers of fat they could cut along (what chemo patient has layers of fat in their neck???) to remove the tumor. Of all 11 lymph nodes biopsied, all 11 came back clear. This is nothing short of amazing.
So... what does all of this mean? Who knows. I guess it was just an informal case study on two people whose life situations started off the same, but who chose different paths. And this is just my perception of their situations. I know that there are lots of things that go on in both of their lives that I DON'T see, but I have to go off of what I noticed as an observer.
I want to move forward with faith. I don't ever want to be stuck treading water in the pool of life (ha!) because I don't have the faith to take those first strokes into the unknown. I don't want to become so wrapped up in being healthy, or rich, or well dressed, or well read, or well travelled that I miss what is important.
"Adam fell that men might be. And men are that they might have JOY." 2 Nephi 2:25
Our Heavenly Father sent us to this earth to gain a body. To have experiences and be tested. But everything about this earth and our bodies just strengthens my testimony that we are here to do more than that. Our bodies can experience excitement, happiness, exuberance, love. This world is SO full of beautiful things. Delicious food. Awe inspiring things to experience. All of these things were put here by a God who wants us to enjoy them. He didn't have to do that. If all we needed was a body and to be tested, it could be done in a much more horrible looking place, with bodies that can't do half of what ours do. But He wants us to have JOY. To feel the happiness that comes from enjoying the blessing we are given, serving others, and living to our full potential. To feel the JOY that comes from being forgiven of our sins. From knowing that we have the chance to start over when we have fallen down. The JOY that comes from knowing that Jesus Christ suffered so that he could be empathetic to all of our pains, sorrows, and sadness -- and that he is ready and willing to take those pains and sadness away from us if we just ask. The JOY that comes from knowing that my family can be together for ETERNITY. The JOY that comes from having the priesthood in my home -- that my husband holds the ability to act in Jesus' name to bless and protect our family. And to speak to us through blessings the words of peace and comfort that only Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost can give.
I want to live a life of JOY. A life full of so much faith and gratitude that there is no room for doubt, fear, or discouragement. A life where maybe someday someone could observe ME from afar and marvel at my faith and happiness despite life experiences the way I observed my friend. Because THAT is why I am here.
My first friend grew up in a very active LDS family but quickly went inactive upon leaving home after high school. Married someone with the same background. Both are FABULOUS people. Their wedding was *so* wonderful. I enjoyed keeping in touch with them through the years. Both are very successful at what they do. They built a gorgeous house. They have a beautiful daughter. They are very busy. Both became involved in spiritualism and self mastery. They are the ones who got me hooked on being fit. They are amazingly healthy and beautiful and they work hard to maintain that. I was in awe that they were SO disciplined that they ate 100% clean and structured six days out of the week. No cheating. At all. They were so patient with me when I COULDN'T do that. But they fully believed that I could do ANYTHING I set my mind to do. They are charitable and give to others. They quote the Tao and meditate. They take excursions to other countries to study their spiritual traditions.
For years I was convinced that they were happy, living out their dreams and finding their destiny. Lately I have been working more closely with them as I am on my latest weigh loss push -- communicating with them more frequently. And I started to see things I hadn't seen before. I noticed things. Like that the searching they are doing for a higher "plane" of existence is never ending. One philosophy negates another. And their searches were taking them in different directions. Instead of working together toward one unified goal, they were searching for whatever resonated with them as individuals. I found that even with all of their giving and sharing and working to build up others, their marriage was failing.
When they first told me their philosophy "there is no right and wrong," I found it quite strange and I was interested to see how they taught that concept to their daughter. I knew from my experience with my own kids that they need to be taught and given boundaries. The more I thought about it, I realized that the reason I couldn't wrap my head around it is because it goes against the basic laws of the universe that we are taught in the scriptures. Adam had to eat of the fruit so he COULD know right from wrong. So he could experience Health and Sickness. Pleasure and Pain. JOY and Sorrow. Without one, there isn't the other. So if the world has no right and wrong, then we cease to feel. I came to see that through all of that self mastery and meditation and study, they may be finding knowledge of new things and ideas, and maybe some peace, but not happiness. I would venture to say they are probably more confused than when they started. And the fact that they are now searching alone, without each other, is the very epitome of sadness, if you ask me.
I even started to notice through facebook updates that the strict diet had led them to forget just how much fun eating good food WHEN you want to eat it can be. Or just going out with friends and living life -- even if it doesn't bring you to a higher understanding of the universe. All things in moderation.
My second friend was raised in the gospel. I've known her my whole life. Great LDS family. She married in the temple and has four fantastic kids. They moved into a house with room for the kids to play, but I don't think it was anything new or fancy. She worked hard to live frugally and was even able to save up enough to surprise her husband with a trip to Europe so they could visit where he served his mission. Her husband is a teacher/coach and she stays at home to raise their young children.
A year and a half ago, her husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer in the esophagus. Statistically, the long term outlook for this type of cancer is not good. There were fasts held, and blessings were given. The community rallied around them. Friends redecorated her living room. Teachers gave up their sick leave so he could still receive paychecks while recovering from chemo and radiation. Her blog was ALWAYS optimistic and upbeat. They kept a sense of humor about things. I'm sure that they had moments of sadness and fear, but the prevailing attitude was one of faith. This battle with the cancer has been a roller coaster. Great news, followed by questionable PET scans. Hair growing back in and weight being gained again, only to be told that they have to do another round of chemo. I think it is natural to be on the outside of this situation and wonder how we would fare if we were IN it. I would like to think that I would be a strong as they have been, but I don't know.
What really made me realize the depth of her faith was when I did my blog post about joining the weight loss challenge. On Sunday night she contacted me and let me know that this is JUST what she needed and that she wanted to do it, too. Not a huge deal, until you know that her husband was scheduled to have surgery the very next day to remove another tumor from his neck. A surgery that had many question marks attached to it. They didn't know if the tumor would be connected to any major arteries or veins. Or if they would get in there and find that they cancer had spread to other organs or lymph nodes, requiring more surgery and chemo... or worse.
A weaker person (ie, ME) would have thought, "Gee, I would love to do that type of a contest, but I just can't commit to that right now. Who KNOWS what is going to happen tomorrow during the surgery and I don't want to be out my $50 before I even get started!!" But she didn't. She said, "I need to do this for ME, I have faith that Heavenly Father is in control and I will be able to handle whatever happens and I am going forward with faith." Okay, she didn't really say that, but that is what struck me when she made this commitment. Oh, and by the way -- the surgery was wildly successful. The tumor was connected to the body with fine layers of fat they could cut along (what chemo patient has layers of fat in their neck???) to remove the tumor. Of all 11 lymph nodes biopsied, all 11 came back clear. This is nothing short of amazing.
So... what does all of this mean? Who knows. I guess it was just an informal case study on two people whose life situations started off the same, but who chose different paths. And this is just my perception of their situations. I know that there are lots of things that go on in both of their lives that I DON'T see, but I have to go off of what I noticed as an observer.
I want to move forward with faith. I don't ever want to be stuck treading water in the pool of life (ha!) because I don't have the faith to take those first strokes into the unknown. I don't want to become so wrapped up in being healthy, or rich, or well dressed, or well read, or well travelled that I miss what is important.
"Adam fell that men might be. And men are that they might have JOY." 2 Nephi 2:25
Our Heavenly Father sent us to this earth to gain a body. To have experiences and be tested. But everything about this earth and our bodies just strengthens my testimony that we are here to do more than that. Our bodies can experience excitement, happiness, exuberance, love. This world is SO full of beautiful things. Delicious food. Awe inspiring things to experience. All of these things were put here by a God who wants us to enjoy them. He didn't have to do that. If all we needed was a body and to be tested, it could be done in a much more horrible looking place, with bodies that can't do half of what ours do. But He wants us to have JOY. To feel the happiness that comes from enjoying the blessing we are given, serving others, and living to our full potential. To feel the JOY that comes from being forgiven of our sins. From knowing that we have the chance to start over when we have fallen down. The JOY that comes from knowing that Jesus Christ suffered so that he could be empathetic to all of our pains, sorrows, and sadness -- and that he is ready and willing to take those pains and sadness away from us if we just ask. The JOY that comes from knowing that my family can be together for ETERNITY. The JOY that comes from having the priesthood in my home -- that my husband holds the ability to act in Jesus' name to bless and protect our family. And to speak to us through blessings the words of peace and comfort that only Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost can give.
I want to live a life of JOY. A life full of so much faith and gratitude that there is no room for doubt, fear, or discouragement. A life where maybe someday someone could observe ME from afar and marvel at my faith and happiness despite life experiences the way I observed my friend. Because THAT is why I am here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)