Holdin' Out on Us

This child is a genius. I just know it. He has gone from saying next to NOTHING to a literal EXPLOSION of vocabulary in the past two weeks. It all started with us looking at a Dora book. I pointed to Boots and asked what a monkey says. He answered "Eeee Eeee Ooooo Ooooo." I about fell off the chair. He NEVER answers the animal sounds. Just looks at us like we are bonkers when *we* make them. He then proceeded to tell me the sounds a cow, dog, cat, fish, duck, lion, and snake make. Then I notice him saying "Push" every time he is playing with the remote, or the dishwasher, my computer, or the CD player. He says "OK" when I ask him to do things. He brings me a pack of gum and says, "Gum." He is saying what we think is "Paige" (gotta nip that one in the bud). He is singing along with songs. It's CRAZY. Today he brought me a Littlest Pet Shop goldfish and said "Fishy" clear as day. There are tons of other words he has said in the past week that I just can't think of right now.

I have to wonder what else that kid has rattling around in his head. The formula for turning water into fuel? The secret to world peace?

He has also begun to develop his sense of humor. Brian and I have decided that with my thirst for the spotlight and his smart-alecness we have created the perfect class clown. When the hometeachers were here last week Jaren went over to my bookshelf where I keep my music and opened the glass front door. He walked to the other side of it and started flattening his nose up against it and making silly faces and sounds at our guests. Nice. The more we laughed the more he hammed it up. I think he was trying to do the blowfish on the glass and he's never even SEEN one. We're in trouble. I tried to get it on video, but once he sees the camera all he wants to do is see what I'm seeing in the viewfinder. So it doesn't work.

I am loving watching this little guy grow up. He keeps me on my toes and heaven knows he has given me more than my fair share of stress and worry with his constant crying for the first eight months of life, then his determination to do everything on HIS schedule -- developmental charts be darned. But I am confident now that he's all good. He just likes to be the one calling the shots. And boy, is he!

Utah Trip 2008

Last year, two of Brian's grandparents died and he had a brother get married. He got to travel three times to see family and old friends. I'll admit that I was jealous. I was not jealous that his grandparents had died -- well, you know what I mean. Last year my grandmother also passed away. I did NOT get to travel to see family and old friends. As a mom I don't get official vacation days and since they held the funeral on a WEDNESDAY (I still don't get that) it made it next to impossible for me to go.

So when I found that my sister in law Gloria was having a baby shower in April, my SIL Terica and I started discussions about flying out there to attend. I had never met Gloria and I hadn't seen Terica in two years. So it would have been a really great opportunity to catch up and meet new members of the family. Plus, there are three OTHER SILs who live in Utah. Michelle (another SIL who lives in St. Louis) decided that she would also fly out and join the fun. It was a party!

THURSDAY, April 10th

I found friends to watch the kids on Thursday so I could leave for the airport in the morning. I got into Salt Lake City at 1:15 and picked up my rental car. I decided that this was going to be MY vacation and I wanted the freedom to go where I wanted to go when I wanted to be there. It was fabulous. I drove up to Hill AFB to go to Sariah's house and meet up with Terica and Michelle (and baby Julia) who arrived the night before. It was so great to see everybody again. Sariah's kids have gotten SO big. I brought gifts for all the nieces and nephews -- UNC Tarheel hats for the boys and handmade bracelets for the girls (thanks for the enrichment lesson, Jodi!) They were a big hit. I also made aprons for all the married SILs. I had emailed them to get their favorite colors, then made aprons to fit their personalities. Now we can ALL be stylin' when we do the dishes!

Pheobe with her bracelet.

Warren with his new hat.

Michelle with baby Julia and her new apron.

After hanging out for a while we drove back down to Salt Lake City to meet Adam and Gloria at Training Table for dinner. I have to say that when Terica and I were "mapping out" our trip and listing the places that we wanted to see, restaurants topped the list! We both attended BYU and then hung around while our husbands got their degrees, so much of our adult life is wrapped up in places and food in the area. Training Table has delicious sandwiches and burgers and to. die. for. cheese fries. It was high on the list. It was so fun to talk and catch up and meet Gloria (who looked WAY better at nine months pregnant than I ever did at five months along). We laughed a TON. While we were there it SNOWED. Gotta love Utah in the Springtime. After dinner, Terica and I headed to our hotel room that we were sharing. I had high hopes of attending a temple session at the Salt Lake Temple the next morning.

FRIDAY, April 11th

Yeah, that temple session didn't happen. Six o'clock came WAY too early on my vacation. Before I forget, HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY, honey!! He was a sweetie to take this day off of work to play with our kids and to let me go have a vacation, despite being a big day for the two of us.

Terica and I headed down to Utah County. We wandered the Provo Towne Center Mall and talked. Then we met up with Sariah and Michelle for lunch at Cafe Rio (a place that I had never been to, but which lived up to its raving descriptions from the others). Terica and I then drove up to Orem (passing the true monstrosity being built on State Street-- right next to Pep Boys. What an embarrassing joke). We got awesome pedicures at the place where I got my nails done before I ever had kids. That is the best pedicure I have EVER gotten. This was more than two weeks ago and the flowers I had painted on my toes are STILL there and the polish hasn't even chipped. I need to call them and ask them what kind of sealer they used! Then we wandered the University Mall (memories of pushing strollers through the mall with newborns) to kill time until our DINNER AT TEMPANYAKI. By far one of my favorite places to eat. It's like Benihanas, but it has all the memories of eating there with my sweetheart. And it was fitting that I went on my anniversary because I know we celebrated a few anniversaries there. I even caught the flying shrimp! Terica and I were in heaven. Afterwards I headed up to BYU to attend my concert with my good friend Cherilyn. We went to BYU together and now live very different lives. It was SO nice to catch up with her and hear all about her life as a busy choir teacher and as a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I love General Conference because I can always see her (she sits front and center) and know that she is okay. We went to TGIFridays after the concert and talked until 12:30 am when they kicked us out. Good times! Retired to the hotel in Orem where Terica and I were staying.

Terica and I at Tempenyaki.

SATURDAY, April 12th

The day of the shower. I slept in a little, went to Ross to get some new shirts, then met my friend Paige for lunch at Einstein Bros. Bagels (another favorite). Paige was a student of mine when I was teaching junior high. She was a fabulous kid. I taught a few of her sisters, too. We kept in touch after I stopped teaching and now she is getting MARRIED. Eeeek! It was really fun to chat with her and see how her life has changed and to see the wonderful gal she has become. I can't wait to hear about all the fun experiences and challenges that she is sure to have as she starts this new phase of life.

Met Terica and Michelle at Bon Losee to head to the shower. Poor Michelle had decided to get a bargain haircut and color at the cosmetology school. Her appointment was for 8:30 am and at 12:45 they were STILL NOT DONE. I was joking that they must have cut her hair one strand at a time. We finally got her out of there, picked up SIL Nicole from her BYU apartment and headed to the shower. Sarah did a WONDERFUL job with this. The games were totally fun, the prizes were cute, her apartment was decorated totally darling, and the food was yummy. It was really neat to have SEVEN SILs together in one place (we were really missing "big Michelle," who was our third musketeer while we lived here years ago), Cherise (who is still in high school), and Cami (Brian's youngest sister). Someday!!

The GIRLS: Sarah (Matt's wife, holding her daughter Dianna), Nicole (Brian's sister), Sariah (Jake's wife), Gloria, Terica (Andy's wife), Me, Michelle (Brian's sister, holding Julia)

Gloria and I

Gloria got some great gifts and we all got some fun pictures. After the shower Gloria said she wanted to WALK THIS BABY OUT. So I took her with me to BYU to go walking around. We first stopped by my old apartment at King Henry. I knocked on the door of the apartment where I had lived for three years and asked to peek in. I probably gave the poor gal the fright of her life to realize that she was face to face with HERSELF in fourteen years. Hee hee. It was nice to see they HAD made some changes -- like taking out the skylight and putting in recessed lighting and vaulted ceilings. Much of the furniture was still the same, though.

King Henry Apartments ( where I lived from fall 1994- spring 1997). I was happy to see they had covered the stairs FINALLY.

I had to stop at the bookstore to buy flipflops first, since I was wearing my boots and it was getting really warm outside. I also got BYU t-shirts for the family. We had creamery icecream and walked around my old stomping grounds at the HFAC. She was a good sport and listened to all my corny stories about how Brian proposed (to be coming in another blog), and about my "former life" as a single gal at BYU. We ran into Terica and went to visit the new Gordon B. Hinckley Alumni building. It's a beautiful building and fun to walk around.

Me at the Gordon B. Hinckley panorama picture. Beautiful!

For dinner we went to Hogi Yogi with Terica, Gloria, Adam, Michelle, and baby Julia. Then back to Matt and Sarah's house for games. And lots and lots of laughs. I love that I have SO much fun with Brian's family. I have SILs that I count among my closest friends. We were joking to Gloria that she was going to laugh that baby out. But she wasn't due for another two weeks. She *was* having some contractions, so we threw her in the car and drove to Smith's to pick up some Granny Sycamore bread (the BEST bread in the world -- seriously. I bought four loaves to bring home with me). Then we drove around Provo to look for speed bumps. I have to add here that my car had an icky "skunk" smell inside of it, so I had a pregnant Gloria in the front seat who was having contractions, and a newly pregnant Terica in the backseat, trying not to puke from the smell of my car. I passed my newly purchased air freshener back to her so she could use the soothing scent of vanilla to calm her tummy. I was laughing SO HARD. I have a couple of pictures of this, but out of respect for all parties involved I will NOT post them. I guess you had to be there. Especially when we pulled over to the side of the road so she COULD puke, then drove off. In many college towns I'm sure that isn't a rare sight. But in Provo???? That night I stayed up until 3:00 am talking to Terica.

SUNDAY, April 13th

Quick breakfast at Krispy Kreme, since I was a bad judge of time and didn't have time to hit the breakfast in the hotel lobby. Darn it. Drove up to Syracuse (up by Ogden) to see my cousin Amy bless her new baby Noah in church. It was SO nice to be able to see some family on the trip. Much of my extended family lives in Utah, but I knew it would be impossible to see everyone, so I wasn't even going to try. But Amy planned this at the perfect time, so I was able to attend church and see some of my favorite family. I even saw an old "date" from BYU in her ward. It is so weird that the state is SO huge, but I always seem to run into people I knew "way back when" whenever I am there. Brian says it's because I dated everyone at BYU, but I digress...

After the blessing and a yummy lunch and catching up with family I drove back to Sariah's to see them before my flight left. On the way I got a call from Gloria asking all these questions about labor and water breaking and contractions. Turns out her water HAD broken, she WAS in labor, and Adam was at CHURCH. I told her to find a way to get him home ASAP and get to the hospital. I was *so* contemplating finding a later flight so I could meet this little guy, but I knew I had to get home. I was missed at home and I missed my family. Jordan Theron was born soon after midnight, Monday morning. I missed him by hours. But I can say I helped him come by driving his mom along bumpy roads, walking her around BYU, and making her laugh so hard it hurt. You're welcome, Gloria! ;)

My flight left on time, and I was met by my sweetheart at the airport. It was a fantastic trip. Things I learned:

• Utah was a great place to go to school. I do NOT want to live there now.


• I got to be high maintenance for four days. It was great. But so not applicable for my daily life. Maybe someday.


• I love my extended family.
  
• Our bodies were not meant to eat high quantities of fattening/yummy food, and get very little sleep and function well. I think I am STILL recovering.

So, if you made it through all of that, go drink some caffeine to wake yourself back up and get on with your day! My journal entry is at least DONE.

Forgive Me, Bloggers...

For I have procrastinated. I am aware of this, so you can stop sending me the less than subtle hints that it has been 10 days since updating my blog!!

I have my Utah blog coming up tomorrow (hopefully), but I wanted to make sure I got this in before I lose the program.

While in Utah I had the chance to attend a BYU Singers/Concert Choir concert. I was never in either of these singing groups -- I was a Women's Chorus girl all four years. I wanted with every fiber of my being to be in one of these groups, but it was just never in the cards. It's funny because every year I would try out and every year they would send me to audition for the top choir and every year I would end up in the "bottom." I even got a personal "apology" from Mack Wilberg one year. He said he didn't know why, but he just couldn't put me in his choir. Ooooookaaaaayy... Thanks for nothing. It turned out that I was given the chance to be the assistant director of Women's Chorus that year, which was a very rewarding and educational experience, but I still longed to be able to create the type and level of music that BYU Singers achieved.

So when I found out that my trip coincided with this concert I jumped at the chance to go. I sent a message to my old friend Cherilyn and we went together. It was fantastic. It was so nice to be back in that environment and to remember what it was like to live every day developing my talent, surrounded by everyone who was working as individuals, but toward a common goal. I joked that I would probably cry at the concert -- mourning the "loss" of my former self. I *did* cry, but I don't think it was for that reason.

The Concert Choir performed two new pieces by Lane Johnson. One was set to the poem "Some Rain Must Fall" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. In introducing the piece, the director said that she had wanted to perform this piece for years, but because of the somewhat "downer" nature of the piece, she couldn't find the perfect piece to pair it with, so it sat there. She and the composer got together to look for the perfect complimentary poem to set to music to pair it with, but nothing fit. So Lane Johnson wrote his own poem and set it to music. The words to both poems were included in the program for the evening so we could read along and really experience the piece. The music itself was very ethereal -- the kind that you can't really sing along to, but that completely envelops you and hits you right in the core. I found myself totally bawling during the second piece.

I remember in one of my choral education classes having a big class discussion on what an "aesthetic experience" was -- what causes it and what has to be in place for it to happen. Being a religious university we were able to talk about the Spirit and the roll it plays. What is it about music - with our without words - that can bring you to tears and make you forget everything around you? Whatever causes it, I had one. My heart was full and I could not keep it in. The poems together really touched me, especially in light of some of the tragedy that has struck friends and family lately. I marvel as I watch them bearing their seemingly impossible burdens with faith and optimism and I *know* that my Heavenly Father loves each of us. And that He can lighten our load and give us the ability to accomplish anything and thrive while doing it. And that we will emerge "after the rain" with a stronger testimony and the ability to help others around us as they deal with their heavy loads.

I am not really a poetry person. But please read these poems. They really affected me.

Some Rain Must Fall

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the moldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the moldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

After the Rain

Darkness expelled by a Light through the clouds,
Heaven compelled to dissolve the lightless shrouds,
Tears dried by Son-Light no longer remain
After the rain.

Storms overhead no more darken the way,
Shadows have ceased to bedim the noonday
Then Brilliant beams of hope are born and brightness regained
After the rain.

Oh how the cloudburst and tempest refine,
As we allow Light to encompass and shine,
Freely the soul sings for respite attained
After the rain,
After the blessed rain.
-Lane Johnson

A Night in Hollywood (sorta)

~*~*Make sure you check out Rochelle's Blog for more pictures and her thoughts*~*~

So last night was Rochelle's tour of the Twilight set that she won on the local radio station. I was extremely fortunate that she chose me to be her "plus one." I spent all day obsessing about what I was going to wear and trying to come up with semi intelligent things I could say when I meet different people working on the production. I don't know if I accomplished anything with my advanced planning in either field, but it kept me occupied.

Rochelle and I at her house before leaving.

We were told to arrive at 8:00 p.m. on the set and to ask for Peter, the publicist. He was super friendly and made us feel very welcome. We told him that we had brought hardcover copies of the Twilight book to get autographed and he was kind enough to bring us over to Cathrine Hardwicke (the director) to chat with her and get her to sign our books. We asked her how she had picked our little town and more importantly, how they chose Bella's house. The house itself is up on a hill on a dead end street, so they would not have seen it while driving down the street. Cathrine said she driving down the mainstreet on her way to downtown and she saw the hill and all the trees and and asked to drive up the hill. She saw the house and said, "I WANT THAT HOUSE!" And she got it. Who knows how much they had to pay the current owners to take it over and move their stuff in and repaint and remodel, but it must have been enticing enough that the owners agreed. Rumer has it though that the current owners are getting a bit worried though because of all the attention their house is receiving. What do you expect when you sign your home over to a major production company??

Cathrine Hardwicke and I

We watched them set up a scene. They have stand ins that are the approximate height and build of the higherpaid/professional actors stand in place so they can fix the lights and get the camera angles correct. Those poor "doubles" were out there for hours in some instances. Then the actors come in for 10 or 15 minutes in some cases. The scene they were filming tonight is where Bella is confronted in the alley in Port Angeles. We met the "frat boys" (which is what the harrassers are being called in the script) and their doubles. Those guys were all a breath of fresh air on the set. It was REALLY REALLY cold and dark and Peter had told us that at some point pretty much everyone in the cast and crew has been sick. This movie has primarily been filmed outdoors and it has been a very rainy spring. The frat boys characters had only been filming for two days so they were having a good time and enjoying the experience. I think the rest of the cast and crew were just ready to be done. Most were VERY nice, but there were a few Growly Gusses in the bunch who seemed very annoyed by our presence.

So we watched them set up the "confrontation" from all angles. It was really cool to stand behind the monitors and watch how everything appears on the tape. The thought of returning to a studio and taking ALL of that footage (multiple takes of each angle and perspective of every scene) is a bit overwhelming. We were able to take pictures of the rehearsals, but due to the evening sky and the random set lights, many turned out kinda blurry. Besides, someone is ALWAYS moving on the set. Unless they yell "Rolling... and ACTION" (and when the director yells this, people repeat it as if on cue so that you hear it in every part of the camp and set and there is NO excuse for making noise.

What the set looked like when we first arrived.

Edward and Bella's standins in the Volvo
The set up from afar.Robert showing up for his scene.This one is really blurry, but it's Robert talking to Cathrine about the upcoming scene. He has to look REALLY mean.Standing in front of the action.Loading up the Volvo with the camera equipment so they could get different angles. I imagine it was mighty cramped in there!!

During one of the setups when they were using the standins Peter introduced us to Robert Pattinson (who plays Edward) and he was VERY kind. He chatted with us about the books (yes, he has read them), about Portland, about filming, about becoming a star. He really is a genuine, humble person. He says that after this movie he thinks he will just "fade away." I really don't think he has any idea what is going to hit him come December 13th. He signed our books and posed for pictures. He was in full hair and makeup and was wearing these awesome amber colored contacts. I have to say that when he was announced as getting the part of Edward I was a tad concerned. He is handsome, but kinda skinny. I didn't know if he'd be able to pull off a part that is supposed to be perfection personafied. But he is growing on me. I think he'll do just fine. And he seems to have a very sweet chemistry with Kristen Stewart, who is planning Bella. She is a very shy person by nature and was not feeling well last night and he seemed to go out of his way to make her feel comfortable between takes.

Robert and I

After talking to Robert we chatted with the "fake frat boys" (the standins) while they shot the real scenes. They were cracking us up with their stories and antics. Most of them had never done a film before and they were quite giddy when we asked for their autographs, too. (Hey, we figured that we should get whomever we could to sign our books.)

Me with Fake Frat Boys 1, 2, 3, and 4

Peter told us to leave Kristen alone, that she isn't a big fan of groupies, so we stayed out of her way. We got to be about two feet away while she got her makeup touched up and she always smiled at us as she would walk by, but we didn't approach her. During one of her scenes there were people watching the filming from atop a building close by and we could hear the directors on the headsets asking for the people to be removed because they were making Kristen nervous. I have say that while acting is an odd career choice for someone with anxiety, I think I would feel the EXACT same way.

Kristen getting her makeup done. She is sitting in the chair with the brown coat on with her back to us. Lame picture, I know.

At some point in the evening a local police officer who is in our ward came down to the set (he was working security) and allowed a group of our friends who were watching from the street to come down to watch. It was really fun to be able to share the experience with so many good friends.

We got to experience the Kraft Services Trailer and treat ourselves to some hot HOT chocolate. At one point my toes were SO cold that I was contemplating filling a cup with hot water and just soaking my feet in it. And I had worn tights and two pairs of socks!! Most of the crew had large parkas, beanie hats, and gloves. But we were slaves to our vanity and still wanted to look cute for pictures, so we didn't have hats. Michelle let me borrow some gloves, which were GREATLY appreciated.

We got to meet Jeff, the Director of Photography who is responsible for filming behind the scenes stuff. That is the stuff that gets put on the DVD and the parts that are released to the media. Like the very cool ET montage that came out a few weeks ago. That was all filmed by him.

We met Don the Key Grip who was very friendly. We also got the "Safety First" talk by one of the assistants to the director. Apparently he didn't heed his own warning a few weeks ago and got a nasty bonk on the head when a light reflector frame decided to succumb to the wind. Those things are like huge parachutes. Last night they had crew members whose only job was to stand on the frame to anchor it to the ground.

Towards the end of our stay we met the "real frat boys." We think they may have been taking sips from the beers they were using in the scene. They were a tad rowdy. Especially for it being so late. But like I said earlier, it was nice to have some people around us who weren't totally bored or jaded by the industry. They saw the onset experience the way we did -- as something very unique and fun. And something that most people will never ever get to do. The fact that it was a movie based off of a book that I enjoyed was a real plus.

Two of the Real Frat Boys

This Frat Boy has a pretty big role in the scene. He is the pretend drukest of the bunch.

A little after midnight they broke for "lunch." They spent the entire five hours filming a scene that will take up about two minutes in the film. Amazing. And the scene they were going to film after that was a continuation of what we had already seen. So we went home to our warm beds.

So thank you to Summit Productions for the great opportunity. It was one I won't soon forget. And thank you Rochelle, for letting me experience this with you. I had a FABULOUS time. :)

**I have a couple of video clips, but Blogger is being difficult tonight and I can't seem to upload them. And I don't want them on YouTube. So you may or may not see those. :)

Too Many Blogs, Not Enough Time!

Okay, so I am WAY behind in my blogging. So in the relatively near future, you can look forward to:

• A blog with pictures about my trip to Utah.
• Several tags that I owe people
• A blog about my BEHIND THE SCENES TWILIGHT TOUR that I am going on later this week. Eeeeeek!! You can read the details on Rochelle's Blog.
• A blog to commemorate my 10th wedding anniversary.

I will spare you a blog about the mountains of laundry I am working my way through, or the total disarray that my house is in. That's what happens when you are totally preoccupied for the week before a big trip, then you come home too tired and stuffed with food to want to do anything about it. So don't give up on me! I will be back to blogging soon!

Stalking: Day Two

With Catharine Hardawicke -- the director. And Shannon, who is looking at her camera.With Kristen Stewart (Bella). It was her 18th birthday today and Shannon sent her balloons with our "Team Edward" picture in the card. Kristen recognized us from the car and surprisingly, didn't run away.
With Billy Burke (Charlie). He was wearing sunglasses when we first saw him and we had no idea who he was until one of the crew yelled out "Billy!" Score!!

More...

There is something to be said for being in the right place at the right time.

Either You'll Get It, Or You Won't...

***EDITED TO ADD THIS PICTURE. Yeah, that's right. I'm in the house.

33 Things I Have Learned in 33 Years (and one day)

1. Don't keep important papers where your 20 month old son can find them
2. Sometimes it is worth it to hire a babysitter just to have some time to think
3. Boys really are different from girls
4. Smarties do NOT work well in Jello
5. How to write a kickin' research paper in a very short period of time
6. Not all returned missionaries are worthy of the pedestal many BYU Freshmen put them on
7. Children really do grow up too fast
8. The Gap uses vanity sizing
9. My Heavenly Father loves me
10. I like to sew
11. Babies don't like blue jeans
12. I love blue jeans
13. I like to eat spicy foods
14. I have very strong opinions about things I didn't think I cared about
15. Republicans are not always right
16. Being teacher's pet really can be beneficial in life
17. Junior High students are bright, passionate, and horribly misunderstood
18. I love Ross and TJ Maxx
19. You can't force a child to eat
20. I need a lot of sleep to feel "well rested"
21. You can learn something from everyone -- even if it is just what you DON'T want to be or do
22. When choosing where to live, weather is one of the biggest factors for me
23. BYU really is the fun, great place my parents made it out to be
24. PMS is real
25. Saying exactly what you are thinking is not always the best way to get your point across
26. It's okay to have cereal for dinner sometimes
27. Family trips are worth the whining and complaining. Despite all of my brattiness, those are some of my best memories growing up (Today We Are Close)
28. The best friends make the best husbands
29. If you pay for your roll of film to be developed in cash when you drop it off in the kiosk, they will develop your film, take your money, and you will still have to pay to pick it up when the pictures are done
30. Faking that you know what you are doing is almost as good as really knowing it -- it at least will buy you some time
31. Despite all of my years pouring over fashion magazines to know of the latest trends, I am hopelessly low maintenance
32. You don't have to be the best at something to be the best teacher of something
33. I can do hard things (thank you to the gals who introduced me to that saying)

I never liked Prime Numbers

Happy Birfday to Me. The Big 33. I have officially left my "early 30s" and entered the "mid 30s."

My gift to myself this year was a cold. Or allergies. It's too early to tell. I like to surprise myself that way.

Joelle gave me the gift of vomit at midnight. She likes to give gifts that are deeply personal and unique to her.

Brian got up early and made a huge breakfast for everyone (including Joelle -- who was fine after 'getting it all out' -- thank heavens). Some great friends have dropped by and brought treats and flowers and a VERY unique luggage tag (which I really need to scan and put up here -- but be warned that it may just make you pee your pants).

I started a list of "33 Things I have Learned in 33 Years." But Jaren likes to thwart all of my attempts at organization and I have NO idea where it is right now. Besides, I think I was only on number 18.

For my special day I am watching General Conference. As a kid I felt SO jipped (gypped? jypped?) when my birthday fell on conference weekend. I have vivid memories of my mother sitting in front of our TV, decorating my Raggedy Ann cake. Nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a six year old like watching men in suits talk on TV for hours. But today I am grateful for the chance to relax, be with my family, and not feel pressured to go do something fancy. I'm gonna sit here and eat cake and play Big Kahuna Reef on my computer. I would try to fold clothes and clean, but Jaren is not in bed. And he is at a stage where I get literally NOTHING done if he is around. He follows me around and un-does whatever I do. He unfolds clothes, he takes things out of the dishwasher, he pulls his toys out of his bucket faster than I put them in. I was in the bathroom for less than 5 seconds to hang up a towel and he had the toilet paper roll in one hand, unravelling it as fast as he could. He likes to play in the dog water. He will just plip softly and gently until I call his name and come running -- then he goes full force in order to make the BIGGEST wet mess he can in the four seconds it will take me to reach him and put the water up. Yesterday he got to the bag of melty beads (they are about the size of a grain of rice) that was sealed and he managed to open it and dump it all over the stair landing. Then he put as many of them as he could into his overall pocket. Then he has this maniacal laugh that he does when he knows he is creating havoc. When someone defined boys as "A noise with dirt on it," they were right.

Not only is he more destructive than the girls, he is far more resourceful. He can open up a packet of fruitsnacks by himself. He can tear into a box of macaroni and cheese silently while sitting in the shopping cart. He can open the drawer with the pens and pencils and reach up and feel around with his fingers until he grasps something. Then he will fight to the death to keep you from getting whatever he finds.

He got his first timeout yesterday for pulling Jillise's hair. He seems to enjoy the reaction he gets from them and this is not the first time he has tried to yank out clumps of their hair. Usually I slap him on the hand and tell him no, but that doesn't work. So I sat him on my lap facing away from me and I wrapped my arms around him and held his hands down in his lap. He thought it was really fun until he realized that I was NOT letting him down.

He is currently grabbing pretzels from the bag left on the table and feeding them to the dog. And I am contemplating homeschooling?????

Tonight in honor of my big day I am going to cover my grey hairs. My grow old gracefully when you can fight it every step of the way? I might as well do my microderm abrasion while I have the color on and fight two birds with one stone. :)

Thank You

Thank you to all who have weighed in on my thoughts yesterday. This post inspired some great conversations with friends and those helped to further solidify my thoughts and opinions. Brian has said that he will support me in whatever we decide to do -- though he is worried about my sanity if we do this (as am I!) I have not approached the subject with Jillise yet and even if we started this next year I would probably still send Joelle to kindergarten so she can get used to a classroom environment and so a trained professional can teach her to read! That is one thing I do *not* feel equipped to do.

So stay tuned! I still don't know what we will do, or when we would do it IF we do it. But I do know that whatever road I choose, it will be okay. I have supportive friends, a great husband, and wonderful children. I can't go wrong. :)

Clearing my Head

Okay, Brian will probably pass out when he reads this, but I need to get it OUT so I can either look back at it later and laugh, or look at my thoughts on paper and realize that I am on to something...

I have been thinking lately about homeschooling. ACK!! I think I must be going crazy. I have never wanted to homeschool. Homeschool is NOT for me!! And for the record MOM, this has been going on for a while -- it was not brought on by your email. I always said that I would homeschool if my children's lives were in danger. But that was about it.

I do not hate public school. Jillise is having a great experience. She has lots of friends, she has a great teacher, she is learning fun things. But she is gone all day. Then she comes home and has piano on Tuesdays, and ballet on Thursdays, and soccer, and friends, and homework, and chores. And much of the time that she is home I teach piano lessons. So I don't feel that I get to spend much time with her. And she is bright. REALLY bright. And I know that she will always have the ability to learn more and do more than they can offer in a class with 20 other students.

There is a charter school here that people think is the Cat's Meow, but I don't think that is the answer to my feelings, either. I don't have a problem with the level of education she is getting. Nor do I have a problem with the other children at school. Besides, you can get a dunderhead classmate who will bring a gun to school ANYWHERE. Wearing a uniform isn't going to fix that. Besides, that school is in session even LATER in the day, and since they don't do many crafts and artsy things during instructional time, they schedule fun class activities AFTER school. More things pulling for her time. Then there is the whole "comparison" issue that arises when you have parents who are friends whose children are all in the same class every year, year after year.

On Sunday I got to go to the "grown up" classes instead of the Primary. Our lesson focused on Elder Oaks' talk "Good, Better, Best." He mentions in there all of the "Good" things that are vying for the time and energies of our families. All of the extra activies, church events, sports, lessons, friends, etc. And while many of those things are good and noble pursuits, they are taking away from the sacred family time that we should be having. This hit me really hard because I had already been struggling with how little "quality" time I have with my girls and they are only four and six years old! I have thought about quitting teaching piano lessons. That is a possibility, but an expensive one.

Then there is the whole issue of the world we live in today. I know that I can't shelter them from dingbats their whole life. I know that learning to be "in the world but not of the world" is something all of us have to learn to do. But this world is not the same as the world I grew up in. By the time I was faced with real peer pressure and life changing "good or evil" choices, I was in junior high or highschool. And even then I don't think I was ever offered drugs. I honestly do not remember anyone even asking if I wanted a cigarette. I went to parties where there was alcohol in highschool, but I was confident enough about myself that I just brought my own Clearly Canadian and carried that around and no one bugged me.

Now, kids are bringing guns to school in third grade. Kids are performing sexual favors IN CLASS in sixth grade. Studies are showing that children are experimenting with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and sex at a younger and younger age. This is not here, by the way -- this is all stuff from the national news -- I didn't want you to think our little town was Babylon). I have to think that if I taught my children at home until they were old enough to be more confident in themselves, if I can keep them from being faced with those decisions until they are old enough to fully comprehend the consequences, that they will be better off. I try to picture my sweet almost seven year old being surrounded by kids who are exposed to horrible situations at home, awful images on TV, kids who are routinely watching movies that *I* don't watch, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I am sure that she is privy to conversations that would make me blush. How do I teach her to shun those things when I don't even think she is old enough to have discussions about the sickening things she may encounter?? I don't want to scare her, but I don't want her learning things from her peers, either. I have a friend whose 4th grade daughter was brought into the principals office because she and her friends were dancing like strippers around the fireman pole on the playground! (This wasn't here, either -- but it was in another rural small town). How do you tell your sweet girl that was just following the crowd that dancing like that is unacceptable because that is how some women dance while taking off their clothes for money??? HUH????

I worry about socialization. But most of the friends we hang out with are from church, and those that aren't from church we see at ballet. They would still do sports. And piano. There is a "homeschool charter school" here that provides you with the curriculum free of charge, and once a week the kids go to "real school" where they are taught by a certified teacher. It gives the parents a break, and it allows the children to experience a real school environment. The school also does all the testing and provides one hour of tutoring a week for the kids. This helps to make sure they are staying on track and working at their level. It also provides one on one assistance for the parents.

Jillise would miss school terribly. She would miss her friends, and music, and library, and recess. But she also has anxiety at school and gets terribly nervous with a sub. She still won't go to the restroom by herself (I just learned this at the last parent teacher conference). I am anticipating another week of stomach aches and tears next year when she has a new teacher. And with seven different 2nd grade classes, there is another big chance that she won't have any good friends in her class next year. Then for 3rd grade she goes clear across town to a DIFFERENT school. Joelle will still be at the school where Jillise is now. (Our district was smoking something a few years back and thought it would be a great way to save money if they put all the K-2 kids at one school, all the 3-5 at another, and all the 6th graders at another. Which means that when Jillise is in 6th grade I will have kids at three schools, all starting within 15 minutes of each other, all of them 5 - 10 minutes apart -- depending on traffic. Oy.) So homeschooling could help her anxiety. By the time she is reintegrated she might be old enough to deal with it in a manner that doesn't involve weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. And she will still have anxiety provoking experiences, like soccer and ballet.

And who KNOWS how Joelle would respond. She is antsy and energetic and funny. She is learning to raise her hand from a SAINT of a primary teacher at church who is really whipping her class into shape (she is a 5th grade teacher). I can see her either blossoming in school and loving all of the experiences, or turning into a completely well meaning class clown who can't sit still. And being a teacher myself, I know that teachers don't have much time to coddle the class clown -- no matter how cute or well meaning she may be. I fear that she could be disciplined and shunned by friends and have a horrible experience and hate education for the rest of her life.

So, tell me. Am I bonkers? Thoughts? I *know* I am crazy. I love my kids. But I am one of those people who NEEDS personal time. Being with my children 24/7 could totally leave me needed a few prescriptions to help me function in normal society. I am not horrible organized. And I am the QUEEN of not following through with my good intentions. But I want what is best for my children and I am willing to sacrifice for that. And I know that I have been receiving spiritual promptings for SOME reason lately. Is this a part of that? I don't know. I guess only time will tell. I haven't even told Brian my thoughts. He and I have both had the whole "homeschooled kids are weird" mindset ever since we were young and homeschooled kids WERE weird. I guess I have alot of soul searching and prayer ahead of me.

Back in the Saddle...

Again. After a month off from eating right and exercising, it's time to refocus. For a while after Christmas I was able to "cheat" a little and slack off on the workouts and I wasn't seeing much difference on the scale. Then Easter hit. Me and Cadbury Eggs go WAY back. And my body decided to let the weeks of slacking catch up to me. In one week.

So I hauled my heavier butt to the gym tonight. I am going to try to work back into it slowly, but I KNOW I'll be hurtin' tomorrow. I go to Utah in a week and a half and I would like to fit into the clothes I purchased JUST for this trip.

And three months ago I made the goal to fit into my wedding dress by my anniversary, which is ALSO in a week and a half. Don't know if that's going to happen, but I'll give it my best. :)

And last but not least, WELCOME SPRING!! After a horrible Spring Break and weekend the sun finally came out and thawed/dried us out. Hoo-RAH.