Forgive Me, Bloggers...

For I have procrastinated. I am aware of this, so you can stop sending me the less than subtle hints that it has been 10 days since updating my blog!!

I have my Utah blog coming up tomorrow (hopefully), but I wanted to make sure I got this in before I lose the program.

While in Utah I had the chance to attend a BYU Singers/Concert Choir concert. I was never in either of these singing groups -- I was a Women's Chorus girl all four years. I wanted with every fiber of my being to be in one of these groups, but it was just never in the cards. It's funny because every year I would try out and every year they would send me to audition for the top choir and every year I would end up in the "bottom." I even got a personal "apology" from Mack Wilberg one year. He said he didn't know why, but he just couldn't put me in his choir. Ooooookaaaaayy... Thanks for nothing. It turned out that I was given the chance to be the assistant director of Women's Chorus that year, which was a very rewarding and educational experience, but I still longed to be able to create the type and level of music that BYU Singers achieved.

So when I found out that my trip coincided with this concert I jumped at the chance to go. I sent a message to my old friend Cherilyn and we went together. It was fantastic. It was so nice to be back in that environment and to remember what it was like to live every day developing my talent, surrounded by everyone who was working as individuals, but toward a common goal. I joked that I would probably cry at the concert -- mourning the "loss" of my former self. I *did* cry, but I don't think it was for that reason.

The Concert Choir performed two new pieces by Lane Johnson. One was set to the poem "Some Rain Must Fall" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. In introducing the piece, the director said that she had wanted to perform this piece for years, but because of the somewhat "downer" nature of the piece, she couldn't find the perfect piece to pair it with, so it sat there. She and the composer got together to look for the perfect complimentary poem to set to music to pair it with, but nothing fit. So Lane Johnson wrote his own poem and set it to music. The words to both poems were included in the program for the evening so we could read along and really experience the piece. The music itself was very ethereal -- the kind that you can't really sing along to, but that completely envelops you and hits you right in the core. I found myself totally bawling during the second piece.

I remember in one of my choral education classes having a big class discussion on what an "aesthetic experience" was -- what causes it and what has to be in place for it to happen. Being a religious university we were able to talk about the Spirit and the roll it plays. What is it about music - with our without words - that can bring you to tears and make you forget everything around you? Whatever causes it, I had one. My heart was full and I could not keep it in. The poems together really touched me, especially in light of some of the tragedy that has struck friends and family lately. I marvel as I watch them bearing their seemingly impossible burdens with faith and optimism and I *know* that my Heavenly Father loves each of us. And that He can lighten our load and give us the ability to accomplish anything and thrive while doing it. And that we will emerge "after the rain" with a stronger testimony and the ability to help others around us as they deal with their heavy loads.

I am not really a poetry person. But please read these poems. They really affected me.

Some Rain Must Fall

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the moldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the moldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

After the Rain

Darkness expelled by a Light through the clouds,
Heaven compelled to dissolve the lightless shrouds,
Tears dried by Son-Light no longer remain
After the rain.

Storms overhead no more darken the way,
Shadows have ceased to bedim the noonday
Then Brilliant beams of hope are born and brightness regained
After the rain.

Oh how the cloudburst and tempest refine,
As we allow Light to encompass and shine,
Freely the soul sings for respite attained
After the rain,
After the blessed rain.
-Lane Johnson