Monday, October 7, 2013
Perfect Fall Soup
Tonight's dinner is Potato Ham Chowder. I posted the recipe on here about five years ago (you know, back when I blogged more often than once every 18 months...) but I thought I'd repost it for anyone who is interested. Great way to use up left over ham. And I now use fat free half and half whenever I can. It thickens up the soup perfectly and I can't taste a difference. And a few drops of Tabasco in your bowl adds some delightful heat. :) Enjoy!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
What's for Dinner?
A few weeks ago I began posting my two week menus on Facebook to show off my new chalkboard wall and also so I could access the menu when I am away from home to know what's on the docket for the evening. Several people asked how I do it and for some of the recipes. I started a Facebook post, but figured this would be an easier way to answer the questions and revive my dead blog at the same time!
The menu planning system I have right now has evolved over many years. I have had this same system now for years and as long as I stick to it, it works (imagine that).
We live about 35 minutes from Costco and all low cost grocery stores. Locally we have a Safeway and a Fred Meyer which have everything I need, but is about 20% more expensive. When I began menu planning I also had young children, making grocery shopping a less than pleasant experience. So I would go on Saturday mornings when Brian was at home so I could get done faster and without "help." But I felt guilty missing part of our only "family day" where we could go do things, so I planned ahead and shopped for two weeks at a time. This also worked with Brian's pay schedule of getting paid every other Friday.
Here is my routine:
The menu planning system I have right now has evolved over many years. I have had this same system now for years and as long as I stick to it, it works (imagine that).
We live about 35 minutes from Costco and all low cost grocery stores. Locally we have a Safeway and a Fred Meyer which have everything I need, but is about 20% more expensive. When I began menu planning I also had young children, making grocery shopping a less than pleasant experience. So I would go on Saturday mornings when Brian was at home so I could get done faster and without "help." But I felt guilty missing part of our only "family day" where we could go do things, so I planned ahead and shopped for two weeks at a time. This also worked with Brian's pay schedule of getting paid every other Friday.
Here is my routine:
- I have a double sided planning sheet that I made years ago and made dozens of copies of. On one side is a spot to list the next 14 days and figure out what we will be eating. I take a look at my calendar to see what is coming up that will affect dinner (church activities, concerts, Brian's meetings, kids activities, guests, etc) and fill those in. I have some things that never change. Brian has meetings every Tuesday and isn't here for dinner. So on those days I usually make something that he doesn't like (like breakfast for dinner) or that is cheap and easy. Jillise also has to be picked up from dance at 6:00 and leave for Young Women at 7:00, so I need something that can be cooked and eaten in less than 30 minutes. Friday is usually pizza day, in some form or another. It's nice to have two days that are filled in without any thought. :)
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| Side one of my Menu Planning Sheet |
- I open up Pinterest and pull out my recipe box, old menus, magazines, and whatever else I feel like using for inspiration for that two weeks and start plugging the meals into the menu! Some of my favorite recipe sites are Our Best Bites and the Pioneer Woman. Both sites have realistic family meals that don't require exotic palates ore hours of prep time. I am also a subscriber of Food Network Magazine, and Taste of Home. But some of my best recipes are from those little cookbooks in the checkout aisle and from old church/school compilation cookbooks! I read cookbooks and cooking magazines for fun. Even if I only use one or two recipes in each book, I love the ideas I get from just flipping through them!
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| I have a slight cookbook obsession... |
- Now for the actual shopping list. I went online and looked up the map of the Winco where I usually shop and made a shopping list template that is organized by aisle. I go down my menu and just start filling in the ingredients that I need into the aisle where they can be found. This makes for the fastest shopping experience possible and I love that I am not pushing a loaded cart back to an aisle I've already been to to get something I missed. Don't forget to write in staple items that you may be out of, and lunch and breakfast items! I only menu plan dinners, but I make sure I have cereal, lunch items, and snack stuff on hand all the time, too.
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| My aisle by aisle shopping list |
- If there is something I need that I can't get at Winco, there is a space on the planning sheet to write down other stores and what I need from them. There is also a place to write down perishable items needed for the mid-menu shopping trip that I do on the middle Saturday. This trip is for milk, bread, and produce needed for the second half of the menu. Usually I do this at one of the local grocery stores.
- I used to guestimate my cost aisle by aisle. This helped me stay on budget. After I had been doing this for a while I could guestimate my total cost within $10. I no longer do this because I seem to subconsciously evenly distribute expensive meals and cheap meals across my menu and I am within $25 of my budget each shopping trip, without even trying.
- First, I am only subjecting myself to the zoo that is Winco twice a month. That means I only have to haul in the bags and put things away twice a month, too.
- I love having an answer to "What's for dinner?" Jaren likes to see what's coming up so he can prepare himself for the battle ahead (he is a super picky eater).
- I love knowing what I have ingredients for! I don't always stick to the menu. Things pop up and I often need to steal an easy meal from later in the menu to replace the planned meal that I don't have time to make. Sometimes we may just end up eating at McDonalds. In that case, that meal gets moved to later in the week to replace a meal that is frozen, so that frozen meal can be used in the next menu rotation.
So, that's it. The pre-shopping planning takes me about 45 minutes, and I am in and out of Winco in about an hour. We also end up eating out MUCH less when I am vigilant with my menu. When I don't take the time to plan, then dinner time rolls around and all I have is frozen meat and random ingredients. So we end up eating out. Or I go to the store and buy random dinner foods and end up spending way more than I should have.
How do you plan your menus?
Monday, March 7, 2011
Happiness Is...
Being able to wear boots and skinny jeans. Now, I don't think that I am skinny, but the boots are a big deal for me. For the past two years I have watched the cute trend of boots and jeans and had to sit out. Because for some reason when I gain weight I hold a LOT of it in my short, stubby legs. The only reason I had black dress boots for church this winter is because I found some with an extra zipper panel to accommodate the "athletic calf." (That was a genius marketing move, though it totally makes me laugh. The reason I need the extra 2" is because I am anything BUT athletic -- but who wants to buy a boot "for fat legs?")
I have known that I need to change my eating and workout habits for a long time. Last spring I went through a bit of depression where I went around and around in my head trying to figure out if I was depressed because I was lazy, or lazy because I was depressed. It's an odd sensation to be in my head, watching myself eat things I shouldn't, watch the scale numbers go up and up, watching my friends and family have success with their weight loss and being genuinely happy for them, but not able to make any long term commitment myself. I knew what I needed to do, I had the tools at my disposal, but it seems that I had to see that predetermined "maximum weight" on the scale before I was able to go for it. I saw the number the week of Christmas, so I started January 1st. And it's working.
The last few times I have had any success with losing weight I was part of a "Lose 10%" contest. Plain and simple, you put in your money, you have 12 weeks to lose 10% of your body weight, and if you are successful you get your money back, plus a portion of the money forfeited by the people who were not successful. The first contest was a piece of cake. My body responded to the exercises I was doing and the healthy diet changes. But my weight crept back up again and I found myself in the same position about two years later. But the next contest was a different experience. The weight was not coming off like it did before. I was working out and eating right and I felt like I was having to scratch and claw for every tenth of a pound. I made my goal, but barely. I had to do a juice fast the last weekend of the contest just to make it, but I had put so much work into it that I was NOT going to lose that money. Three months later my hair started falling out as a result of the stress of those last weeks. And needless to say, the frustration of the experience did not help the "good" habits to stick. All I wanted to do was eat food that made me happy and lie around. I was almost rebelling against myself. Which led to the depression issues, on and on and on.
So this time there is no "deadline." I got an iPod Touch for Christmas and I downloaded the intelli-diet. It is a fantastic little app that helps you eat right. No fads, no calorie counting. You input your weight, how much you exercise, and how many pounds you want to lose a week (up to two). They give you a huge list of foods and you choose the ones you like to eat and it makes meals and snacks for you. Its fantastic. And it works. It focuses on healthy fats, whole grains, fruits and veggies, and lean proteins. There are of course no sweets on the plan, but I have allowed myself to eat those when I feel that I am struggling. And I am still losing weight. I can't recommend it highly enough. Best $4 I ever spent.
I cancelled my gym membership and started the Couch to 5K plan that first week of January. My fantastic neighbor, Michelle, allowed me to use their treadmill in their garage, since running in the cold and wet does not appeal to me at ALL. In January I was struggling to run for two minutes at a time, but I am currently running over two MILES at a time. My 5K is on April 9th and I know I will be ready. It may take me 40 minutes, but I will do it. And my body seems to like the running. Even though I have slacked off on my workouts the days I don't run (the C25K program only has me running three days a week) I am still seeing success. This weekend we even bought our very OWN treadmill! She's a beaut.
And here's the kicker. I am happy. Trying to lose weight is not all consuming. I am not beating myself up if I don't do an ab workout. The 5K on the calendar keeps me running every week, but I am finding that it's enjoyable. I like setting a goal before the run and the sense of accomplishment when I reach it. I will always be tempted to eat something I shouldn't (Hostess Cupcake, anyone?), and sometimes I will make the right choice and sometimes I won't. But I am not going to panic about it.
I am looking forward to my thighs not rubbing together when I walk -- someday. And maybe even running a 10K -- someday. But for now I am just happy to be wearing cute boots.
I have known that I need to change my eating and workout habits for a long time. Last spring I went through a bit of depression where I went around and around in my head trying to figure out if I was depressed because I was lazy, or lazy because I was depressed. It's an odd sensation to be in my head, watching myself eat things I shouldn't, watch the scale numbers go up and up, watching my friends and family have success with their weight loss and being genuinely happy for them, but not able to make any long term commitment myself. I knew what I needed to do, I had the tools at my disposal, but it seems that I had to see that predetermined "maximum weight" on the scale before I was able to go for it. I saw the number the week of Christmas, so I started January 1st. And it's working.
The last few times I have had any success with losing weight I was part of a "Lose 10%" contest. Plain and simple, you put in your money, you have 12 weeks to lose 10% of your body weight, and if you are successful you get your money back, plus a portion of the money forfeited by the people who were not successful. The first contest was a piece of cake. My body responded to the exercises I was doing and the healthy diet changes. But my weight crept back up again and I found myself in the same position about two years later. But the next contest was a different experience. The weight was not coming off like it did before. I was working out and eating right and I felt like I was having to scratch and claw for every tenth of a pound. I made my goal, but barely. I had to do a juice fast the last weekend of the contest just to make it, but I had put so much work into it that I was NOT going to lose that money. Three months later my hair started falling out as a result of the stress of those last weeks. And needless to say, the frustration of the experience did not help the "good" habits to stick. All I wanted to do was eat food that made me happy and lie around. I was almost rebelling against myself. Which led to the depression issues, on and on and on.
So this time there is no "deadline." I got an iPod Touch for Christmas and I downloaded the intelli-diet. It is a fantastic little app that helps you eat right. No fads, no calorie counting. You input your weight, how much you exercise, and how many pounds you want to lose a week (up to two). They give you a huge list of foods and you choose the ones you like to eat and it makes meals and snacks for you. Its fantastic. And it works. It focuses on healthy fats, whole grains, fruits and veggies, and lean proteins. There are of course no sweets on the plan, but I have allowed myself to eat those when I feel that I am struggling. And I am still losing weight. I can't recommend it highly enough. Best $4 I ever spent.
I cancelled my gym membership and started the Couch to 5K plan that first week of January. My fantastic neighbor, Michelle, allowed me to use their treadmill in their garage, since running in the cold and wet does not appeal to me at ALL. In January I was struggling to run for two minutes at a time, but I am currently running over two MILES at a time. My 5K is on April 9th and I know I will be ready. It may take me 40 minutes, but I will do it. And my body seems to like the running. Even though I have slacked off on my workouts the days I don't run (the C25K program only has me running three days a week) I am still seeing success. This weekend we even bought our very OWN treadmill! She's a beaut.
And here's the kicker. I am happy. Trying to lose weight is not all consuming. I am not beating myself up if I don't do an ab workout. The 5K on the calendar keeps me running every week, but I am finding that it's enjoyable. I like setting a goal before the run and the sense of accomplishment when I reach it. I will always be tempted to eat something I shouldn't (Hostess Cupcake, anyone?), and sometimes I will make the right choice and sometimes I won't. But I am not going to panic about it.
I am looking forward to my thighs not rubbing together when I walk -- someday. And maybe even running a 10K -- someday. But for now I am just happy to be wearing cute boots.
Friday, February 25, 2011
It's ALIVE!!!!
So, August 29, 2009, huh? Nice. I guess I took a blogging break. I'm not entirely sure why I needed it, but I did. I had to figure out why I was blogging. What I liked in other blogs. Why so many of us have this need to put our lives out there for everyone to see. And you know what I came up with after a year and a half? Absolutely nothing. I have some ideas:
I think that Facebook contributed to my lack of blogging in a big way. Why spend an hour uploading deep thoughts with pictures when a 160 character witty comment will do?
I think my paper thin skin had something to do with it. I don't "do" confrontation and I was frustrated with strangers trying to take up debate with my thoughts. For that reason, I may decide to disable comments. But I don't want to do that, so if you want to argue with someone, please go somewhere else. Like my banner says, this space is about ME. No apologies. I reserve the right to delete comments if I feel like it. Deal with it.
I think my frustration with the "my life is perfect" blogs had something to do with it. Those people who blog about how perfectly darling their children are and how crafty they are and how perfectly perfect their life is. I am not those things. Sometimes I have a good morning. Sometimes I even do a craft or two. I read a blog recently where someone related blogging to "show and tell." Most people just bring their shiniest, newest toy to the big event, ignoring all of of the well loved, worn out toys that really tell a story. I was afraid that by displaying my "broken in" toys on the blog that I was portraying myself and my family in a less than ideal light, when compared to the other "still in box" toys that are out there on display.
So, as my first order of business, I am displaying an old, broken toy. I REALLY don't like snow. I think it's pretty, I like it when it cancels school. I don't like that it is cold, and that the cold turns to wet. I don't like all of the special layers that are necessary just to go "play" in it. I don't like driving in it and all of the Pacific Northwest drivers who THINK that they know what they are doing in this stuff. I don't like cleaning up the puddles on my floor after my kids track it inside. Yes, this makes me a TOTAL lame-o mom. My poor kids. They will never learn to ski. They will never have their mom drive them to the school parking lot to do donuts when there is no school. I *WILL* offer to turn on the gas fireplace and play Rummikub. Does that count?
And so I don't end on a downer of a "welcome back" post, here are our most recent family pictures, taken by the fantastically fantastic Kamee June this fall when we ran away from home for a week to the beautiful fantasy land that is Southern California:
I also have to give a shout out to Katrina Kirk who did my hair and makeup and made me look and feel like a movie star.
I think that Facebook contributed to my lack of blogging in a big way. Why spend an hour uploading deep thoughts with pictures when a 160 character witty comment will do?
I think my paper thin skin had something to do with it. I don't "do" confrontation and I was frustrated with strangers trying to take up debate with my thoughts. For that reason, I may decide to disable comments. But I don't want to do that, so if you want to argue with someone, please go somewhere else. Like my banner says, this space is about ME. No apologies. I reserve the right to delete comments if I feel like it. Deal with it.
I think my frustration with the "my life is perfect" blogs had something to do with it. Those people who blog about how perfectly darling their children are and how crafty they are and how perfectly perfect their life is. I am not those things. Sometimes I have a good morning. Sometimes I even do a craft or two. I read a blog recently where someone related blogging to "show and tell." Most people just bring their shiniest, newest toy to the big event, ignoring all of of the well loved, worn out toys that really tell a story. I was afraid that by displaying my "broken in" toys on the blog that I was portraying myself and my family in a less than ideal light, when compared to the other "still in box" toys that are out there on display.
So, as my first order of business, I am displaying an old, broken toy. I REALLY don't like snow. I think it's pretty, I like it when it cancels school. I don't like that it is cold, and that the cold turns to wet. I don't like all of the special layers that are necessary just to go "play" in it. I don't like driving in it and all of the Pacific Northwest drivers who THINK that they know what they are doing in this stuff. I don't like cleaning up the puddles on my floor after my kids track it inside. Yes, this makes me a TOTAL lame-o mom. My poor kids. They will never learn to ski. They will never have their mom drive them to the school parking lot to do donuts when there is no school. I *WILL* offer to turn on the gas fireplace and play Rummikub. Does that count?
And so I don't end on a downer of a "welcome back" post, here are our most recent family pictures, taken by the fantastically fantastic Kamee June this fall when we ran away from home for a week to the beautiful fantasy land that is Southern California:
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Saturday Stuff
- Went to see Fiddler on the Roof with my sister. Topol played the roll of Tevya in his farewell tour. He was the guy in the movie My first thought when I saw the advertisement: That guy is still alive???? Boy is he! He was fantastic. Almost 74 years old and he was kicking up his heels and dancing and singing. The program said that he has performed this roll more than 2500 times. You would never know it. It was a great evening.
- Took a family outing to the discount grocery store today. Not exactly the kids' idea of FUN, but it beats them fighting with each other at home while Brian watches TV and I do it by myself. Joelle helped me get stuff off of the shelf and Brian and Jillise were my human calculators. I would tell them how much to add to our running total and Jillise would add it up in her head while Brian helped keep track of that number in between items. Jaren was actually pretty good.
- School starts in less than two weeks. Crazy. We didn't do 75% of the stuff I had planned to do. Oh, well. There is always next summer. It felt weird today to be shopping for lunch box items. I think I have my piano student schedule about set. This fall will be interesting. Jillise's ballet classes move to twice a week, Joelle goes once. Jillise still has piano lessons and now we have Activity Days for church every other Wednesday, too. I am still mentally adjusting to the fact that Joelle will be in school all day!
- Weight loss is moving right along. I am four weeks down out of 12 and am ahead of schedule a little, so I have some wiggle room if the weight loss slows down a bit in the end. I finally got to remove the first "gold link" from my chain today and rewarded myself with a Deluxe Pedicure. I had a gift certificate that I was saving for just this. It was HEAVEN. Now I have pretty toes. At least until I ram my big toe into something and crack the nail.
- I'm going to see Julie and Julia this week. I'm excited. It will be a fun Girls Night Out.
- The amount of crumbs under my table after every meal. Seriously?? Do my children actually get ANY food into their mouths?? Cuz I'm thinking no. It's when I am sweeping up piles of cold cereal, chips, taco meat, and dried cheese that I really miss Kramer (the dog that now lives with my parents).
- I've been making all of our bread for a few months now. I love it. Sadly, it has done nothing to help curb my desire for carbs. I have been known to eat nothing but protein for breakfast and snack so I can have a PBandJ sandwich for lunch. Heaven. It's the simple things.
- Now that I am craving a sandwich I am going to go make dinner so I can go do my cardio AND weights workout tonight. I slacked yesterday and tomorrow is my rest day so I have to get my burn on beforehand.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Want To Do It MySEFF!!
We have entered the Age of Independence. That period in every two, three, or four year-olds life when they are CONVINCED that they can do everything for themselves. That period where our family is now perpetually late for everything. It starts first thing in the morning. Not only does he have to GET dressed by himself, it takes him two to three minutes just to choose what design he wants on his pullups/undies. Then he has to get the stool, open the freezer, get the waffles, and put them in the toaster. Then use the tongs to REMOVE them from the toaster. He has to put his own sandals on , buckle himself in his carseat (which is new and which he cannot do very well yet -- and if he feels the car move just a fraction of an inch he screams bloody murder). He wants to choose what he eats every day and what we watch on TV.
In some ways this stage is nice because it does lead to REAL Independence. But in many ways I miss just being able to do it for him (quickly) and being on time for things. Unfortunately Jillise inherited my need to be prompt and Jaren just frustrates her to no end. But any attempt to hurry Jaren up results in one of two things: He will either throw a screaming tantrum all the way to event (resulting in being on time but so disruptive that you have to leave again to discipline him in the hallway), or he will throw a screaming fit until you give in at home and let him START OVER doing it on his own (resulting in being late).
So please excuse Paige's tardiness on _____________ (fill in the date). She is attempting to teach life skills to a three year old headstrong little boy without losing her mind in the process. I would like to state that this will never happen again, but quite frankly, that would be a lie.
Sincerely,
Paige's Conscience
In some ways this stage is nice because it does lead to REAL Independence. But in many ways I miss just being able to do it for him (quickly) and being on time for things. Unfortunately Jillise inherited my need to be prompt and Jaren just frustrates her to no end. But any attempt to hurry Jaren up results in one of two things: He will either throw a screaming tantrum all the way to event (resulting in being on time but so disruptive that you have to leave again to discipline him in the hallway), or he will throw a screaming fit until you give in at home and let him START OVER doing it on his own (resulting in being late).
So please excuse Paige's tardiness on _____________ (fill in the date). She is attempting to teach life skills to a three year old headstrong little boy without losing her mind in the process. I would like to state that this will never happen again, but quite frankly, that would be a lie.
Sincerely,
Paige's Conscience
Friday, August 21, 2009
Joy
I have been doing quite a bit of reflection lately on joy. What is it? What makes us happy? What makes us UNhappy? My friend Candy did a fabulous Relief Society lesson on this a few weeks ago on how PURE joy comes from a full understanding of the atonement and the ability to be worthy enough to take advantage of that gift. This got my wheels turning, but it was watching the events in two friends lives that really made me start to think. I know one of these friends reads my blog, I doubt the other one does. I really don't want to offend ANYONE, this is just my observation of what is shown on the outside and how I perceive things to be.
My first friend grew up in a very active LDS family but quickly went inactive upon leaving home after high school. Married someone with the same background. Both are FABULOUS people. Their wedding was *so* wonderful. I enjoyed keeping in touch with them through the years. Both are very successful at what they do. They built a gorgeous house. They have a beautiful daughter. They are very busy. Both became involved in spiritualism and self mastery. They are the ones who got me hooked on being fit. They are amazingly healthy and beautiful and they work hard to maintain that. I was in awe that they were SO disciplined that they ate 100% clean and structured six days out of the week. No cheating. At all. They were so patient with me when I COULDN'T do that. But they fully believed that I could do ANYTHING I set my mind to do. They are charitable and give to others. They quote the Tao and meditate. They take excursions to other countries to study their spiritual traditions.
For years I was convinced that they were happy, living out their dreams and finding their destiny. Lately I have been working more closely with them as I am on my latest weigh loss push -- communicating with them more frequently. And I started to see things I hadn't seen before. I noticed things. Like that the searching they are doing for a higher "plane" of existence is never ending. One philosophy negates another. And their searches were taking them in different directions. Instead of working together toward one unified goal, they were searching for whatever resonated with them as individuals. I found that even with all of their giving and sharing and working to build up others, their marriage was failing.
When they first told me their philosophy "there is no right and wrong," I found it quite strange and I was interested to see how they taught that concept to their daughter. I knew from my experience with my own kids that they need to be taught and given boundaries. The more I thought about it, I realized that the reason I couldn't wrap my head around it is because it goes against the basic laws of the universe that we are taught in the scriptures. Adam had to eat of the fruit so he COULD know right from wrong. So he could experience Health and Sickness. Pleasure and Pain. JOY and Sorrow. Without one, there isn't the other. So if the world has no right and wrong, then we cease to feel. I came to see that through all of that self mastery and meditation and study, they may be finding knowledge of new things and ideas, and maybe some peace, but not happiness. I would venture to say they are probably more confused than when they started. And the fact that they are now searching alone, without each other, is the very epitome of sadness, if you ask me.
I even started to notice through facebook updates that the strict diet had led them to forget just how much fun eating good food WHEN you want to eat it can be. Or just going out with friends and living life -- even if it doesn't bring you to a higher understanding of the universe. All things in moderation.
My second friend was raised in the gospel. I've known her my whole life. Great LDS family. She married in the temple and has four fantastic kids. They moved into a house with room for the kids to play, but I don't think it was anything new or fancy. She worked hard to live frugally and was even able to save up enough to surprise her husband with a trip to Europe so they could visit where he served his mission. Her husband is a teacher/coach and she stays at home to raise their young children.
A year and a half ago, her husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer in the esophagus. Statistically, the long term outlook for this type of cancer is not good. There were fasts held, and blessings were given. The community rallied around them. Friends redecorated her living room. Teachers gave up their sick leave so he could still receive paychecks while recovering from chemo and radiation. Her blog was ALWAYS optimistic and upbeat. They kept a sense of humor about things. I'm sure that they had moments of sadness and fear, but the prevailing attitude was one of faith. This battle with the cancer has been a roller coaster. Great news, followed by questionable PET scans. Hair growing back in and weight being gained again, only to be told that they have to do another round of chemo. I think it is natural to be on the outside of this situation and wonder how we would fare if we were IN it. I would like to think that I would be a strong as they have been, but I don't know.
What really made me realize the depth of her faith was when I did my blog post about joining the weight loss challenge. On Sunday night she contacted me and let me know that this is JUST what she needed and that she wanted to do it, too. Not a huge deal, until you know that her husband was scheduled to have surgery the very next day to remove another tumor from his neck. A surgery that had many question marks attached to it. They didn't know if the tumor would be connected to any major arteries or veins. Or if they would get in there and find that they cancer had spread to other organs or lymph nodes, requiring more surgery and chemo... or worse.
A weaker person (ie, ME) would have thought, "Gee, I would love to do that type of a contest, but I just can't commit to that right now. Who KNOWS what is going to happen tomorrow during the surgery and I don't want to be out my $50 before I even get started!!" But she didn't. She said, "I need to do this for ME, I have faith that Heavenly Father is in control and I will be able to handle whatever happens and I am going forward with faith." Okay, she didn't really say that, but that is what struck me when she made this commitment. Oh, and by the way -- the surgery was wildly successful. The tumor was connected to the body with fine layers of fat they could cut along (what chemo patient has layers of fat in their neck???) to remove the tumor. Of all 11 lymph nodes biopsied, all 11 came back clear. This is nothing short of amazing.
So... what does all of this mean? Who knows. I guess it was just an informal case study on two people whose life situations started off the same, but who chose different paths. And this is just my perception of their situations. I know that there are lots of things that go on in both of their lives that I DON'T see, but I have to go off of what I noticed as an observer.
I want to move forward with faith. I don't ever want to be stuck treading water in the pool of life (ha!) because I don't have the faith to take those first strokes into the unknown. I don't want to become so wrapped up in being healthy, or rich, or well dressed, or well read, or well travelled that I miss what is important.
"Adam fell that men might be. And men are that they might have JOY." 2 Nephi 2:25
Our Heavenly Father sent us to this earth to gain a body. To have experiences and be tested. But everything about this earth and our bodies just strengthens my testimony that we are here to do more than that. Our bodies can experience excitement, happiness, exuberance, love. This world is SO full of beautiful things. Delicious food. Awe inspiring things to experience. All of these things were put here by a God who wants us to enjoy them. He didn't have to do that. If all we needed was a body and to be tested, it could be done in a much more horrible looking place, with bodies that can't do half of what ours do. But He wants us to have JOY. To feel the happiness that comes from enjoying the blessing we are given, serving others, and living to our full potential. To feel the JOY that comes from being forgiven of our sins. From knowing that we have the chance to start over when we have fallen down. The JOY that comes from knowing that Jesus Christ suffered so that he could be empathetic to all of our pains, sorrows, and sadness -- and that he is ready and willing to take those pains and sadness away from us if we just ask. The JOY that comes from knowing that my family can be together for ETERNITY. The JOY that comes from having the priesthood in my home -- that my husband holds the ability to act in Jesus' name to bless and protect our family. And to speak to us through blessings the words of peace and comfort that only Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost can give.
I want to live a life of JOY. A life full of so much faith and gratitude that there is no room for doubt, fear, or discouragement. A life where maybe someday someone could observe ME from afar and marvel at my faith and happiness despite life experiences the way I observed my friend. Because THAT is why I am here.
My first friend grew up in a very active LDS family but quickly went inactive upon leaving home after high school. Married someone with the same background. Both are FABULOUS people. Their wedding was *so* wonderful. I enjoyed keeping in touch with them through the years. Both are very successful at what they do. They built a gorgeous house. They have a beautiful daughter. They are very busy. Both became involved in spiritualism and self mastery. They are the ones who got me hooked on being fit. They are amazingly healthy and beautiful and they work hard to maintain that. I was in awe that they were SO disciplined that they ate 100% clean and structured six days out of the week. No cheating. At all. They were so patient with me when I COULDN'T do that. But they fully believed that I could do ANYTHING I set my mind to do. They are charitable and give to others. They quote the Tao and meditate. They take excursions to other countries to study their spiritual traditions.
For years I was convinced that they were happy, living out their dreams and finding their destiny. Lately I have been working more closely with them as I am on my latest weigh loss push -- communicating with them more frequently. And I started to see things I hadn't seen before. I noticed things. Like that the searching they are doing for a higher "plane" of existence is never ending. One philosophy negates another. And their searches were taking them in different directions. Instead of working together toward one unified goal, they were searching for whatever resonated with them as individuals. I found that even with all of their giving and sharing and working to build up others, their marriage was failing.
When they first told me their philosophy "there is no right and wrong," I found it quite strange and I was interested to see how they taught that concept to their daughter. I knew from my experience with my own kids that they need to be taught and given boundaries. The more I thought about it, I realized that the reason I couldn't wrap my head around it is because it goes against the basic laws of the universe that we are taught in the scriptures. Adam had to eat of the fruit so he COULD know right from wrong. So he could experience Health and Sickness. Pleasure and Pain. JOY and Sorrow. Without one, there isn't the other. So if the world has no right and wrong, then we cease to feel. I came to see that through all of that self mastery and meditation and study, they may be finding knowledge of new things and ideas, and maybe some peace, but not happiness. I would venture to say they are probably more confused than when they started. And the fact that they are now searching alone, without each other, is the very epitome of sadness, if you ask me.
I even started to notice through facebook updates that the strict diet had led them to forget just how much fun eating good food WHEN you want to eat it can be. Or just going out with friends and living life -- even if it doesn't bring you to a higher understanding of the universe. All things in moderation.
My second friend was raised in the gospel. I've known her my whole life. Great LDS family. She married in the temple and has four fantastic kids. They moved into a house with room for the kids to play, but I don't think it was anything new or fancy. She worked hard to live frugally and was even able to save up enough to surprise her husband with a trip to Europe so they could visit where he served his mission. Her husband is a teacher/coach and she stays at home to raise their young children.
A year and a half ago, her husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer in the esophagus. Statistically, the long term outlook for this type of cancer is not good. There were fasts held, and blessings were given. The community rallied around them. Friends redecorated her living room. Teachers gave up their sick leave so he could still receive paychecks while recovering from chemo and radiation. Her blog was ALWAYS optimistic and upbeat. They kept a sense of humor about things. I'm sure that they had moments of sadness and fear, but the prevailing attitude was one of faith. This battle with the cancer has been a roller coaster. Great news, followed by questionable PET scans. Hair growing back in and weight being gained again, only to be told that they have to do another round of chemo. I think it is natural to be on the outside of this situation and wonder how we would fare if we were IN it. I would like to think that I would be a strong as they have been, but I don't know.
What really made me realize the depth of her faith was when I did my blog post about joining the weight loss challenge. On Sunday night she contacted me and let me know that this is JUST what she needed and that she wanted to do it, too. Not a huge deal, until you know that her husband was scheduled to have surgery the very next day to remove another tumor from his neck. A surgery that had many question marks attached to it. They didn't know if the tumor would be connected to any major arteries or veins. Or if they would get in there and find that they cancer had spread to other organs or lymph nodes, requiring more surgery and chemo... or worse.
A weaker person (ie, ME) would have thought, "Gee, I would love to do that type of a contest, but I just can't commit to that right now. Who KNOWS what is going to happen tomorrow during the surgery and I don't want to be out my $50 before I even get started!!" But she didn't. She said, "I need to do this for ME, I have faith that Heavenly Father is in control and I will be able to handle whatever happens and I am going forward with faith." Okay, she didn't really say that, but that is what struck me when she made this commitment. Oh, and by the way -- the surgery was wildly successful. The tumor was connected to the body with fine layers of fat they could cut along (what chemo patient has layers of fat in their neck???) to remove the tumor. Of all 11 lymph nodes biopsied, all 11 came back clear. This is nothing short of amazing.
So... what does all of this mean? Who knows. I guess it was just an informal case study on two people whose life situations started off the same, but who chose different paths. And this is just my perception of their situations. I know that there are lots of things that go on in both of their lives that I DON'T see, but I have to go off of what I noticed as an observer.
I want to move forward with faith. I don't ever want to be stuck treading water in the pool of life (ha!) because I don't have the faith to take those first strokes into the unknown. I don't want to become so wrapped up in being healthy, or rich, or well dressed, or well read, or well travelled that I miss what is important.
"Adam fell that men might be. And men are that they might have JOY." 2 Nephi 2:25
Our Heavenly Father sent us to this earth to gain a body. To have experiences and be tested. But everything about this earth and our bodies just strengthens my testimony that we are here to do more than that. Our bodies can experience excitement, happiness, exuberance, love. This world is SO full of beautiful things. Delicious food. Awe inspiring things to experience. All of these things were put here by a God who wants us to enjoy them. He didn't have to do that. If all we needed was a body and to be tested, it could be done in a much more horrible looking place, with bodies that can't do half of what ours do. But He wants us to have JOY. To feel the happiness that comes from enjoying the blessing we are given, serving others, and living to our full potential. To feel the JOY that comes from being forgiven of our sins. From knowing that we have the chance to start over when we have fallen down. The JOY that comes from knowing that Jesus Christ suffered so that he could be empathetic to all of our pains, sorrows, and sadness -- and that he is ready and willing to take those pains and sadness away from us if we just ask. The JOY that comes from knowing that my family can be together for ETERNITY. The JOY that comes from having the priesthood in my home -- that my husband holds the ability to act in Jesus' name to bless and protect our family. And to speak to us through blessings the words of peace and comfort that only Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost can give.
I want to live a life of JOY. A life full of so much faith and gratitude that there is no room for doubt, fear, or discouragement. A life where maybe someday someone could observe ME from afar and marvel at my faith and happiness despite life experiences the way I observed my friend. Because THAT is why I am here.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wednesday Wanderings
- Last night I wore a swimsuit to water aerobics that I bought last year and didn't fit into. It doesn't look PERFECT yet, but I got it on, there were no horrific "spill overs," so I wore it. I love deep water aerobics. You work at your own pace and you really give your muscles a run for their money, yet there is something really mentally relaxing about the whole thing. And you burn a ton of calories.
- School is starting SOON. This summer has flown by and we haven't don't half the fun things I said we were going to do. The ballet schedule for my girls has been posted, so I have been able to plan my piano schedule. It really doesn't look that bad this year. I have been nervous because Jillise goes to ballet 2x a week now, PLUS has Activity Days at church. Ack!
- Because of all of this, I have had to drop out of my bunco group. Sadness. But I feel good about it. I will hopefully get calls to be a sub and the months when I don't have Young Women meetings out the wazoo and Brian isn't out doing Ward Mission stuff or working late, I can go and enjoy myself.
- I am way excited that Top Chef and Project Runway are starting again. YAY!! I love having shows to watch while I eat my lunch or cool down after exercising. SYTYCD is another one we will add to our queue. I am hopeful for Glee, but I just fear it is going to become another oversexed dramedy that Fox and all of the other networks are so good at pumping out. They take a decent story line with good, interesting characters and after a couple of episodes, the only interactions they are creative enough to come up with involve affairs, or teen pregnancies, or drunken sex. I am optimistic because they seem to be targeting the show towards a younger demographic (teens), but I guess that doesn't mean much anymore.
- Jaren still isn't potty trained. We have been working on it a bit. I learned from the girls to take a "child led" approach. This helps you avoid mental standoffs (which I had many of with the girls). But he doesn't seem to really want to lead. He WILL be out of diapers by the time he goes into Sunbeams. I think.
- I have run a half mile WITHOUT STOPPING for two days in a row. Outside. With little hills. I am not a runner. I don't know if I ever will be a runner. I was a good sprinter when I was little, but the long distance things have never been for me. I don't know how much of that is mental and how much is physical. I am trying to build up my strength and stamina so I can join a little running club in the fall.
- I have been thinking a lot about happiness lately. This may become a blog post of its own. I think I started it a while back and never finished it. Through watching different people in my life it has just become SO obvious that happiness is not a SOMETHING. It is a way of being. I am learning more and more that true joy comes from knowing and living the plan of happiness. By keeping the course and having faith that we are in the care of a loving God who wants us to reach our full potential and is waiting to help us. And that we can do all of the worldly study, we can give all we have to the poor, we can have beautiful healthy bodies, we can be surrounded by beautiful things... and still not have JOY. We may have periods of satisfaction and happiness, but not full joy. I know that this is a basic concept that we are taught in the Gospel (Man's Search for Happiness, anyone?). But in the past few months I have seen both sides played out in people I love and it has just been a fascinating process to watch. I am not claiming that everyone who has the gospel is happier than those who don't. But I believe that those who embrace it, who do the things they are supposed to be doing, who exercise faith in all things, who have seen the hand of the Lord in everything around them have a kind of eternal joy and perspective that those who don't have a knowledge of the gospel or who don't ACT on that knowledge can never possess. I need to make it my goal to become one of those knowers. I'm working on it. ☺
- Yesterday I made these in honor of National Cupcake Day. They were really fun to to make!! When Jaren didn't finish his I must admit to taking ONE bite. I can say they were yummy, too. And it's an idea I'll have to play around with in the future. Red white and blue for 4th of July. Turkey Feather colors for Thanksgiving. Very fun. :)
- I am wearing capris today and need to shave my legs.
- I learned the sign language last week to Families Can Be Together Forever. What is it about little kids doing sign language that just makes my heart leap for joy??? The look so beautiful doing it. And I think so many of the signs reinforce the meaning of the words and make the kids (and the listener) THINK about what they are singing instead of just thinking "this song AGAIN?????"
- I'm getting tired of eggs for breakfast. Sometimes I just want a HUGE bowl of cereal. But I can't. Throws off my carbs for the whole day. Darn you, sugar and flour.
- I made one of these for a friend yesterday using a scrap of fabric instead of paper. I was thrilled that it worked so well (especially since I am not a scrapbooker (gasp!) and have way more fabric lying around than I do paper.
So that's what's I'm thinking about. Aren't you glad I came out of blog seclusion to post it all?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Just Keep Swimming...
Just a little Jillise brag. She can SWIM!! Both girls have made great strides this summer in swimming lessons, but the technique REALLY clicked with her. A few weeks ago she passed Level 2 in swimming lessons. In that class she learned the basics of the crawl stroke and side breathing. She decided that she wanted to master the crawl stroke on her own, then she taught herself the backstroke. She can now swim the crawl stroke the entire width of the pool, then swim back on her back (I taught her how to spot herself using the beams of the ceiling). She did this three times and it didn't seem to tire her at all. In order to swim in the "deep pool" without an adult with her, she has to be able to do this just one time, and she did it three! I can't believe it. When she was little she was just like me. She cried before every swimming lesson and she clung to us in the pool. Now she is teaching herself strokes (with pretty good form, I might add). She was pretty excited about the prospect of passing Level 5 someday and being a lifeguard when she is sixteen.
Joelle is now swimming underwater and getting things off the bottom of the pool. She loves to jump in and is getting closer to passing Level 2. At the beginning of the summer she still hated putting her face underwater and insisted on using the waterwings.
Jaren is a madman in the pool. You put a pair of water wings on that kid and he is unstoppable. Unfortunately, you take the waterwings OFF of him and he STILL thinks he is unstoppable. As soon as we can get him out of diapers we will have to put him in lessons. He may be one of those kids who is five years old in Level 3!
Joelle is now swimming underwater and getting things off the bottom of the pool. She loves to jump in and is getting closer to passing Level 2. At the beginning of the summer she still hated putting her face underwater and insisted on using the waterwings.
Jaren is a madman in the pool. You put a pair of water wings on that kid and he is unstoppable. Unfortunately, you take the waterwings OFF of him and he STILL thinks he is unstoppable. As soon as we can get him out of diapers we will have to put him in lessons. He may be one of those kids who is five years old in Level 3!
Friday, August 7, 2009
This One's About ME
I was tagged by Shannon.
What is your current obsession? I think the only answer I can put here right now is WEIGHT LOSS. It trumps every other "fun" thing vying for my attention. I spend more time on fitday.com trying to find the perfect combinations of food than I do on facebook, or blogs, or email. That says aLOT.
What do you hate the most that everyone else seems to love? Uh... socialized medicine? Just kidding. I know not EVERYONE loves it, but by the comments of my facebook friends you would think I am the only one not thrilled about having the government involved in my personal medical decisions. Oh, I also don't like American Idol.
What are you wearing today? Black short sleeved tee under a red, deep v-neck 3/4 sleeved Old Navy T. Jeans (that finally fit right), and bare feet. No make up, since we will be leaving for the pool in an hour.
What's for dinner? McDonalds, baby!! Tonight is the Daddy Daughter Campout, so Brian will be taking the girls before they drive to set up camp. I will be taking Jaren a bit later for our "date." It took me 20 minutes last night to figure out what I can eat today to be able to fit in a BURGER for dinner. The answer: scrambled egg/egg whites for breakfast, yoplait yogurt, half a pb&j for lunch with a glass of milk and raw veggies, and two protein shakes for my snacks. This will allow me to eat a Big n' Tasty with NO bun for dinner with veggies on the side and a diet drink. I come in at 1204 calories, with exactly 40% protein, 30% fat, and 30% carbs. Impressive, no?
What would you eat for your last meal? I would start out with crabcakes for an appetizer, followed by a high quality, perfectly cooked medium rare filet mignon, a huge fully loaded baked potato, followed up with tastes from absolutely everything on the dessert cart. It's my last meal. It's all good, right?
What is the last thing you bought? Uhhhh... that wasn't groceries? This is hard. The fountain of piano money runs dry during the summer so I am on a pretty tight financial leash. The last stuff I remember buying that wasn't a necessity was birthday presents for Joelle and Jaren at the coast. Some cute skirt/shirt combos for Joelle, some cool noisy dinosaur toys for Jaren.
What are you listening to right now? Noggin on the TV, Jaren eating a Go-Gurt, and Jillise on her DS.
What do you think of the person who tagged you? I can't say enough nice things about Shannon. I think I first came to admire her creative eye. Her home is beautiful, she always looks impeccable, and she excels at all things crafty. But I have come to love her spirit, her kindness, her sense of humor, and her ability to make things happen. And I love her willingness to be my photoshop go-to gal!
If you could have a house, fully paid for, and totally furnished anywhere in the world, where would it be? Oh gosh. I am going to totally cheat and say that I want one of those mongo bus-sized RVs so we can drive around the country in comfort and style and enjoy all that there is to see. This is something I really want to do with my kids, and a pimped out RV would make it even easier and more enjoyable!
If you could go anywhere for the next hour, where would it be? Just an hour? I'll take a nap.
What is one of your hobbies? Sewing
What are 3 things that annoy you most?
1. The crumbs and dirt that seem to multiply when I have my back turned.
2. High Maintenance People
3. Politics
What is your favorite color? This is always a hard question for me, because it seems to change based on my moods and the seasons. I still love limey green. And orange makes me happy. Robin's Egg Blue with a nice bright orange is divine.
What is your favorite piece of clothing in your wardrobe? This question makes me frustrated because I have a few things in my wardrobe that I love and have yet to wear. I bought them years ago with the thought that they will "fit perfectly in five pounds." But I gained five pounds in the wrong direction, then five more, then five more... So I have this totally cute denim wrap dress from the Gap that I don't think I have ever worn. And this cute brown top with a flirty bow that still has the tags on it. So watch for those to make a debut around Christmas time!
What is your dream job? I would love to be a creative director of something. Some job where I could dream up cool things. Or neat patterns. Or plan great events. Then have a team do all the grunt work for it. ☺
What are you going to do after this? I need to throw some lunch together for the kids and then we are going swimming.
What inspires you? Colors and patterns. The thought of new opportunities. People who believe in me.
Who was the last person you kissed? Jaren. I love that boy.
What are you currently reading? Nothing today. I just finished two more obscure Louisa May Alcott books: Long Fatal Love Chase and The Inheritance. Loved them both. Long Fatal Love Chase was EXCELLENT. Very different from her other books, but I really enjoyed it. The Interitance was her first novel, written when she was 17. It was an easy read that gives you a fun glimpse into the Victorian ideals of the time period.
What delighted you most today? Getting a fanFREAKINGtastic deal on a surprise gift that I am purchasing for a bridal shower.
Tag Eight People:
1. Amy
2. Terica
3. Mandy
4. Rachel (private blog)
5. Amanda (private blog)
6. Michelle
7. Lynn
8. Tanya
What is your current obsession? I think the only answer I can put here right now is WEIGHT LOSS. It trumps every other "fun" thing vying for my attention. I spend more time on fitday.com trying to find the perfect combinations of food than I do on facebook, or blogs, or email. That says aLOT.
What do you hate the most that everyone else seems to love? Uh... socialized medicine? Just kidding. I know not EVERYONE loves it, but by the comments of my facebook friends you would think I am the only one not thrilled about having the government involved in my personal medical decisions. Oh, I also don't like American Idol.
What are you wearing today? Black short sleeved tee under a red, deep v-neck 3/4 sleeved Old Navy T. Jeans (that finally fit right), and bare feet. No make up, since we will be leaving for the pool in an hour.
What's for dinner? McDonalds, baby!! Tonight is the Daddy Daughter Campout, so Brian will be taking the girls before they drive to set up camp. I will be taking Jaren a bit later for our "date." It took me 20 minutes last night to figure out what I can eat today to be able to fit in a BURGER for dinner. The answer: scrambled egg/egg whites for breakfast, yoplait yogurt, half a pb&j for lunch with a glass of milk and raw veggies, and two protein shakes for my snacks. This will allow me to eat a Big n' Tasty with NO bun for dinner with veggies on the side and a diet drink. I come in at 1204 calories, with exactly 40% protein, 30% fat, and 30% carbs. Impressive, no?
What would you eat for your last meal? I would start out with crabcakes for an appetizer, followed by a high quality, perfectly cooked medium rare filet mignon, a huge fully loaded baked potato, followed up with tastes from absolutely everything on the dessert cart. It's my last meal. It's all good, right?
What is the last thing you bought? Uhhhh... that wasn't groceries? This is hard. The fountain of piano money runs dry during the summer so I am on a pretty tight financial leash. The last stuff I remember buying that wasn't a necessity was birthday presents for Joelle and Jaren at the coast. Some cute skirt/shirt combos for Joelle, some cool noisy dinosaur toys for Jaren.
What are you listening to right now? Noggin on the TV, Jaren eating a Go-Gurt, and Jillise on her DS.
What do you think of the person who tagged you? I can't say enough nice things about Shannon. I think I first came to admire her creative eye. Her home is beautiful, she always looks impeccable, and she excels at all things crafty. But I have come to love her spirit, her kindness, her sense of humor, and her ability to make things happen. And I love her willingness to be my photoshop go-to gal!
If you could have a house, fully paid for, and totally furnished anywhere in the world, where would it be? Oh gosh. I am going to totally cheat and say that I want one of those mongo bus-sized RVs so we can drive around the country in comfort and style and enjoy all that there is to see. This is something I really want to do with my kids, and a pimped out RV would make it even easier and more enjoyable!
If you could go anywhere for the next hour, where would it be? Just an hour? I'll take a nap.
What is one of your hobbies? Sewing
What are 3 things that annoy you most?
1. The crumbs and dirt that seem to multiply when I have my back turned.
2. High Maintenance People
3. Politics
What is your favorite color? This is always a hard question for me, because it seems to change based on my moods and the seasons. I still love limey green. And orange makes me happy. Robin's Egg Blue with a nice bright orange is divine.
What is your favorite piece of clothing in your wardrobe? This question makes me frustrated because I have a few things in my wardrobe that I love and have yet to wear. I bought them years ago with the thought that they will "fit perfectly in five pounds." But I gained five pounds in the wrong direction, then five more, then five more... So I have this totally cute denim wrap dress from the Gap that I don't think I have ever worn. And this cute brown top with a flirty bow that still has the tags on it. So watch for those to make a debut around Christmas time!
What is your dream job? I would love to be a creative director of something. Some job where I could dream up cool things. Or neat patterns. Or plan great events. Then have a team do all the grunt work for it. ☺
What are you going to do after this? I need to throw some lunch together for the kids and then we are going swimming.
What inspires you? Colors and patterns. The thought of new opportunities. People who believe in me.
Who was the last person you kissed? Jaren. I love that boy.
What are you currently reading? Nothing today. I just finished two more obscure Louisa May Alcott books: Long Fatal Love Chase and The Inheritance. Loved them both. Long Fatal Love Chase was EXCELLENT. Very different from her other books, but I really enjoyed it. The Interitance was her first novel, written when she was 17. It was an easy read that gives you a fun glimpse into the Victorian ideals of the time period.
What delighted you most today? Getting a fanFREAKINGtastic deal on a surprise gift that I am purchasing for a bridal shower.
Tag Eight People:
1. Amy
2. Terica
3. Mandy
4. Rachel (private blog)
5. Amanda (private blog)
6. Michelle
7. Lynn
8. Tanya
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Little Comparison
When I did this weightloss thing almost three years ago I started using Alli to kickstart my weightloss and to force me to eat right. If anyone wants any more info on why you are FORCED to eat right, just ask. I am happy to share the unpleasant details because in this case I think it is good to "know before you go."
Anyway, I had debated using Alli this time because I was impressed with how quickly the weight seemed to come off. But for various reasons I decided not to use it and just see what I could do on my own. I kept a food journal last time (as I am this time) where I kept track of everything I ate and my weight for the day (yes, I am an obsessive weigher). To my surprise I found that 17 days in I have lost .2 pounds MORE this time than I had lost 17 days in last time, without any help from medicines. Just good old fashioned exercise and diet. For the record, I am down 5.6 pounds since I started this after getting back from camp, and I am down 2.6 since the contest started. I have a way to go, but I sure enjoy seeing results, especially in the beginning.
Yay me! I really am loving this. I feel good, I feel energetic, and I am feeling happier. And I feel like I am eating TONS of food. So while I may have to pass up most cookies and treats, I am still eating foods I like and allowing myself little rewards every once in a while. Here's to continued success! (And getting my money back in 11 more weeks.)
Anyway, I had debated using Alli this time because I was impressed with how quickly the weight seemed to come off. But for various reasons I decided not to use it and just see what I could do on my own. I kept a food journal last time (as I am this time) where I kept track of everything I ate and my weight for the day (yes, I am an obsessive weigher). To my surprise I found that 17 days in I have lost .2 pounds MORE this time than I had lost 17 days in last time, without any help from medicines. Just good old fashioned exercise and diet. For the record, I am down 5.6 pounds since I started this after getting back from camp, and I am down 2.6 since the contest started. I have a way to go, but I sure enjoy seeing results, especially in the beginning.
Yay me! I really am loving this. I feel good, I feel energetic, and I am feeling happier. And I feel like I am eating TONS of food. So while I may have to pass up most cookies and treats, I am still eating foods I like and allowing myself little rewards every once in a while. Here's to continued success! (And getting my money back in 11 more weeks.)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
What's Your Motivation?
My friend Lara asked me to expand on my weightloss motivation. Three words: Girls' Camp Slideshow.
Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and think that you really don't look half bad? Hair is cute, clothes are clean, skin is not looking like that of a teenager in heat. You may know that you have some extra pounds you are carrying around, but all things considered, you look pretty good. Then you see a picture of yourself taken that very day and it sucks the breath of life right out of you.
This was me at camp. I know that camp is camp. I made a concious decision at that at camp I was going to go makeup free. I feel very strongly that our teenagers need to know that while makeup may be used to enhance their beauty, they should never feel ashamed or embarrassed to be seen without it. So I was going to use camp as my opportunity to show that I am not ashamed to go without makeup. I kept my face clean. Due to the hot weather and lack of shower time I usually kept my hair in a pony tail. I made a different cute "bandana" to wear in my hair each day so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Again, my attempt at showing that you don't have to be high maintenance all. the. time. Especially at camp.
Fast forward to the last night of camp when they are showing the slideshow montage of camp. And there is me. Oh. My. Goodness. Not only is my face shiny from the heat and lack of makeup, my pulled back hair just emphasizes my "fuller" cheeks. Put me next to the three skinny minny members of the Stake YW Presidency and you have a collision with reality.
I don't FEEL thirty four. I don't FEEL 30 pounds overweight. But boy do I look it. In that flash of a picture (or four) in the slideshow I saw myself how other people must see me (maybe not friends, but strangers and those I don't know very well, and certainly the YW who see me only a few times a year). I don't look like the cute, funny, understanding leader that you want to be like when you grow up. I look tired. So I am on a quest to make my outside match how I feel on the inside.
So I joined this weightloss challenge. The contest itself doesn't start until tomorrow, but I have been going great guns since last Tuesday. Why wait? I have my weightloss chain on my fridge still. I had to add a few links to it from when I made it in February (Grrrrrrrr....), but I have been able to remove three of them already. In reflecting on my "rut" of the past nine months, I think that much of it stems from my weight. Frustration with myself for letting it get this bad after all the work I did two years ago. Disappointment with my lack of self control. Self esteem issues when I hang out with a group of women and realize that I am "the fat friend." And just general physical malaise because being out of shape makes you feel crappy. It was a horrible downward spiral that I was stuck in. The worst part was knowing what I needed to do to make it better, but not having the willpower or energy to make it happen. I tried a few times and was sidelined a few weeks in by one thing or another. This time I WILL succeed.
I am still all for no makeup at camp. But I think I'll be more careful before going to the store without it. ☺ So, onward and DOWNWARD. As Brian keeps reminding me, it's a marathon, not a sprint.
***And by the way, this post is in NO way looking for ego stroking, should you be feeling so inclined.
Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and think that you really don't look half bad? Hair is cute, clothes are clean, skin is not looking like that of a teenager in heat. You may know that you have some extra pounds you are carrying around, but all things considered, you look pretty good. Then you see a picture of yourself taken that very day and it sucks the breath of life right out of you.
This was me at camp. I know that camp is camp. I made a concious decision at that at camp I was going to go makeup free. I feel very strongly that our teenagers need to know that while makeup may be used to enhance their beauty, they should never feel ashamed or embarrassed to be seen without it. So I was going to use camp as my opportunity to show that I am not ashamed to go without makeup. I kept my face clean. Due to the hot weather and lack of shower time I usually kept my hair in a pony tail. I made a different cute "bandana" to wear in my hair each day so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Again, my attempt at showing that you don't have to be high maintenance all. the. time. Especially at camp.
Fast forward to the last night of camp when they are showing the slideshow montage of camp. And there is me. Oh. My. Goodness. Not only is my face shiny from the heat and lack of makeup, my pulled back hair just emphasizes my "fuller" cheeks. Put me next to the three skinny minny members of the Stake YW Presidency and you have a collision with reality.
I don't FEEL thirty four. I don't FEEL 30 pounds overweight. But boy do I look it. In that flash of a picture (or four) in the slideshow I saw myself how other people must see me (maybe not friends, but strangers and those I don't know very well, and certainly the YW who see me only a few times a year). I don't look like the cute, funny, understanding leader that you want to be like when you grow up. I look tired. So I am on a quest to make my outside match how I feel on the inside.
So I joined this weightloss challenge. The contest itself doesn't start until tomorrow, but I have been going great guns since last Tuesday. Why wait? I have my weightloss chain on my fridge still. I had to add a few links to it from when I made it in February (Grrrrrrrr....), but I have been able to remove three of them already. In reflecting on my "rut" of the past nine months, I think that much of it stems from my weight. Frustration with myself for letting it get this bad after all the work I did two years ago. Disappointment with my lack of self control. Self esteem issues when I hang out with a group of women and realize that I am "the fat friend." And just general physical malaise because being out of shape makes you feel crappy. It was a horrible downward spiral that I was stuck in. The worst part was knowing what I needed to do to make it better, but not having the willpower or energy to make it happen. I tried a few times and was sidelined a few weeks in by one thing or another. This time I WILL succeed.
I am still all for no makeup at camp. But I think I'll be more careful before going to the store without it. ☺ So, onward and DOWNWARD. As Brian keeps reminding me, it's a marathon, not a sprint.
***And by the way, this post is in NO way looking for ego stroking, should you be feeling so inclined.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Hello???
Is this thing on? Is there anybody left out there who checks this thing?
Needless to say, I have been a crappy blogger lately. I don't even know why. I still love reading blogs. I still take pictures of things with the thought that it will make a good blog. I just never actually sit down and do it. Life hasn't even been that busy. Just full.
In the past three months we have had four birthdays. Jillise was baptized. I went to Youth Conference and Girls' Camp. We took a trip to Idaho for Brian's sister's wedding. We had a vacation on the coast. School got out. We got gerbils. The girls passed a level of swimming lessons. Brian got a new calling. Again. We have had a heat wave. I have joined another "lose 10% of your body weight or lose your money" challenge. Brian was on antibiotics for a "very angry toe." Jaren has become a very funny little man. I choral directed a musical. The girls danced in a ballet recital. Brian went golfing with my dad. And all the other "normal" things that go on around here.
Some of these things really do need a blog post. Jillise's baptism and our family trips, for sure. I don't know that Brian's toe needs any more attention than it has received already.
I do hope to get back on here. Maybe now that I have taken the first step there will be more. I keep getting less than subtle hints from Terica that I need to update this thing more often. I think the past few months have been an interesting time for me. Lots of changes. There seem to be a lot more things that demand my time and I have less time to dedicate to "me." My calling has certainly kept me busy since the start of the year. I love love LOVE what I am doing, but it requires quite a bit of time on the computer organizing, typing, emailing, and printing. I am trying to spend more time doing things with the kids this summer, instead of just hanging out around the house. During the school year I teach 16 piano/voice students. There is always something more I should be doing around the house, though I have been doing a good job of keeping the "public" areas clean. I don't know. When I get "free" time I tend to just do NOTHING. I have told a few people that I just feel like I am in a rut. Like I know I am on the brink of big things and big changes. Big possibilities. But I can't bring myself to just go for it. Part of me is just being stubborn and lazy and not doing ANYTHING. I think I am coming out of that. This diet challenge has gotten me exercising and eating better. I am excited about the school year when both girls will be in classes all day and I have six hours with Jaren to play, go on little outings, and go into town. For the past five years our lives during the school year have rotated around SOMEONE being in half day school - whether preschool or kindergarten. It is really hard to get much of anything done when you only have 2.5 hours to do it in. Add Jaren's nap to that and I was practically homebound.
So. How's that for a welcome back blog post? I don't even know if it made any sense. I rarely understand myself, so if any of you see anything in there that resonates with you, feel free to let me know what it is. I can use all the help I can get. :)
Needless to say, I have been a crappy blogger lately. I don't even know why. I still love reading blogs. I still take pictures of things with the thought that it will make a good blog. I just never actually sit down and do it. Life hasn't even been that busy. Just full.
In the past three months we have had four birthdays. Jillise was baptized. I went to Youth Conference and Girls' Camp. We took a trip to Idaho for Brian's sister's wedding. We had a vacation on the coast. School got out. We got gerbils. The girls passed a level of swimming lessons. Brian got a new calling. Again. We have had a heat wave. I have joined another "lose 10% of your body weight or lose your money" challenge. Brian was on antibiotics for a "very angry toe." Jaren has become a very funny little man. I choral directed a musical. The girls danced in a ballet recital. Brian went golfing with my dad. And all the other "normal" things that go on around here.
Some of these things really do need a blog post. Jillise's baptism and our family trips, for sure. I don't know that Brian's toe needs any more attention than it has received already.
I do hope to get back on here. Maybe now that I have taken the first step there will be more. I keep getting less than subtle hints from Terica that I need to update this thing more often. I think the past few months have been an interesting time for me. Lots of changes. There seem to be a lot more things that demand my time and I have less time to dedicate to "me." My calling has certainly kept me busy since the start of the year. I love love LOVE what I am doing, but it requires quite a bit of time on the computer organizing, typing, emailing, and printing. I am trying to spend more time doing things with the kids this summer, instead of just hanging out around the house. During the school year I teach 16 piano/voice students. There is always something more I should be doing around the house, though I have been doing a good job of keeping the "public" areas clean. I don't know. When I get "free" time I tend to just do NOTHING. I have told a few people that I just feel like I am in a rut. Like I know I am on the brink of big things and big changes. Big possibilities. But I can't bring myself to just go for it. Part of me is just being stubborn and lazy and not doing ANYTHING. I think I am coming out of that. This diet challenge has gotten me exercising and eating better. I am excited about the school year when both girls will be in classes all day and I have six hours with Jaren to play, go on little outings, and go into town. For the past five years our lives during the school year have rotated around SOMEONE being in half day school - whether preschool or kindergarten. It is really hard to get much of anything done when you only have 2.5 hours to do it in. Add Jaren's nap to that and I was practically homebound.
So. How's that for a welcome back blog post? I don't even know if it made any sense. I rarely understand myself, so if any of you see anything in there that resonates with you, feel free to let me know what it is. I can use all the help I can get. :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday Stations
Let's see if I can remember how to post from this thing...
My cousin posted this idea on her blog a few months ago, and she got the idea from the Friend. We tried it today and it was a smashing success.
SUNDAY STATIONS!
This was a great way to have an organized, productive Sunday afternoon. Once Jaren went down for a nap, we set up four areas. The girls spent 15 minutes in each area. In one area, they read scriptures or looked at scripture stories or books. In the next area they wrote in journals. Joelle can't write yet, but she drew a picture of things she did this past week, then Brian wrote down the date and what it was a picture of on the back. In the next station the girls got to spend time with me. Joelle practiced her reading by reading a book to me, Jillise and I used the time to pass of a Faith in God activity. For the last station, the kids get one on one time with Brian. It could be used as a Father/Child interview, just to chat, to read a story, work on Faith in God, whatever.
I think that 15 minutes was a bit short. Joelle barely finished her story, and we were a bit rushed with the Faith in God activity. Twenty minutes might be just right. In the future we may add a station or two. But for today this was GREAT. The girls couldn't wait to get started when we got home from school.
After the stations I took a nap. Aaaaaahhhh. Life has been a bit crazy the past month and this was the first Sunday where I felt things got back to normal. I need to blog about Jillise birthday, baptism, Grandma Joy's visit, Katie's baby blessing, Cherise's wedding reception... and who knows what else. Man. I'm behind.
My cousin posted this idea on her blog a few months ago, and she got the idea from the Friend. We tried it today and it was a smashing success.
SUNDAY STATIONS!
This was a great way to have an organized, productive Sunday afternoon. Once Jaren went down for a nap, we set up four areas. The girls spent 15 minutes in each area. In one area, they read scriptures or looked at scripture stories or books. In the next area they wrote in journals. Joelle can't write yet, but she drew a picture of things she did this past week, then Brian wrote down the date and what it was a picture of on the back. In the next station the girls got to spend time with me. Joelle practiced her reading by reading a book to me, Jillise and I used the time to pass of a Faith in God activity. For the last station, the kids get one on one time with Brian. It could be used as a Father/Child interview, just to chat, to read a story, work on Faith in God, whatever.
I think that 15 minutes was a bit short. Joelle barely finished her story, and we were a bit rushed with the Faith in God activity. Twenty minutes might be just right. In the future we may add a station or two. But for today this was GREAT. The girls couldn't wait to get started when we got home from school.
After the stations I took a nap. Aaaaaahhhh. Life has been a bit crazy the past month and this was the first Sunday where I felt things got back to normal. I need to blog about Jillise birthday, baptism, Grandma Joy's visit, Katie's baby blessing, Cherise's wedding reception... and who knows what else. Man. I'm behind.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Miracles Do Happen
Tonight I was teaching a voice lesson when Jillise came RUNNING downstairs hysterically screaming. Jaren had fallen out of the window. The second story toyroom window. The window that I have been nervous about ever since he has been big enough to climb on things. I guess he was standing on something and leaning on the screen and it gave way and he went with it.
I went tearing out the door, trying to prepare myself for what I might see. What I saw was Jaren pushing himself up on his arms, crying that he was poopy. I scooped him up and brought him inside where I could look him over for broken bones or bleeding. He could move all his fingers and toes, he was talking, there was no blood. Brian was home teaching and could not be reached ANYWHERE. (Tomorrow he is having his phone surgically adhered to his hip.) I called his companions wife, who sent over her mother in law, who is a nurse. She did a quick exam, then suggested that we go to the ER just to be safe, but that everything looked good in her opinion. Jaren was in a bit of shock. He was really shaky and couldn't stand up. My voice students mom came over and volunteered to ride to the ER with me to keep Jaren awake. Her daughter stayed with my girls (poor Jillise was in hysterics still). I said a prayer with the girls and with Jaren that everything would be okay. Our home teacher lives around the corner, so he came over and gave Jaren a blessing. He blessed him that all would be well physically and that there would be no lasting emotional or bodily trauma.
We got to the ER and got taken right back to a room. Jaren was more awake by now and was talking and moving around. He was able to walk for the doctor. They pushed and prodded and rubs and looked. He didn't even have a SCRATCH on him. Literally. No broken skin. The doctor ordered a CAT scan to be safe. Jaren was SO good during the scan. He stayed still and we sang Popcorn Popping. The doctor said he gets the best kid of the year award. The scan came back normal and we are back home -- three hours after it all started.
I went back to the side of the house to get a better look. He landed on dirt. It has been raining, so the dirt was very soft. Six inches away from where he landed is a retaining wall made of railroad ties. Six inches to the right is the metal air conditioning unit. He landed in just the right way, in just the right place that everything is fine. He is safe. He is upstairs reading books with Brian (who I'm sure was very shocked to come home to find my voice student and the neighbor sitting on the couch, with hysterical girls, no son, and no wife).
I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who watches out for us. Who not only protected my son, but placed people around me who could help when I was too panicked to know what to do. For a home teacher who was home and worthy to come give him a blessing at the drop of a hat when my husband could not be reached. I know I am blessed. My brain keeps going over what COULD have been and I just want to throw up. I still just might.
Hug your little ones tonight. You never know what could happen in the blink of an eye.
I went tearing out the door, trying to prepare myself for what I might see. What I saw was Jaren pushing himself up on his arms, crying that he was poopy. I scooped him up and brought him inside where I could look him over for broken bones or bleeding. He could move all his fingers and toes, he was talking, there was no blood. Brian was home teaching and could not be reached ANYWHERE. (Tomorrow he is having his phone surgically adhered to his hip.) I called his companions wife, who sent over her mother in law, who is a nurse. She did a quick exam, then suggested that we go to the ER just to be safe, but that everything looked good in her opinion. Jaren was in a bit of shock. He was really shaky and couldn't stand up. My voice students mom came over and volunteered to ride to the ER with me to keep Jaren awake. Her daughter stayed with my girls (poor Jillise was in hysterics still). I said a prayer with the girls and with Jaren that everything would be okay. Our home teacher lives around the corner, so he came over and gave Jaren a blessing. He blessed him that all would be well physically and that there would be no lasting emotional or bodily trauma.
We got to the ER and got taken right back to a room. Jaren was more awake by now and was talking and moving around. He was able to walk for the doctor. They pushed and prodded and rubs and looked. He didn't even have a SCRATCH on him. Literally. No broken skin. The doctor ordered a CAT scan to be safe. Jaren was SO good during the scan. He stayed still and we sang Popcorn Popping. The doctor said he gets the best kid of the year award. The scan came back normal and we are back home -- three hours after it all started.
I went back to the side of the house to get a better look. He landed on dirt. It has been raining, so the dirt was very soft. Six inches away from where he landed is a retaining wall made of railroad ties. Six inches to the right is the metal air conditioning unit. He landed in just the right way, in just the right place that everything is fine. He is safe. He is upstairs reading books with Brian (who I'm sure was very shocked to come home to find my voice student and the neighbor sitting on the couch, with hysterical girls, no son, and no wife).
I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who watches out for us. Who not only protected my son, but placed people around me who could help when I was too panicked to know what to do. For a home teacher who was home and worthy to come give him a blessing at the drop of a hat when my husband could not be reached. I know I am blessed. My brain keeps going over what COULD have been and I just want to throw up. I still just might.
Hug your little ones tonight. You never know what could happen in the blink of an eye.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
A New Fun Way...
...to avoid cleaning!! 
My mom got me a really fun set of books for my birthday on making cookie, candy, and fruit bouquets. True to my obsessive, impulsive nature, I went out and bought supplies this week and made these for my visiting teach-ees:
I think only one of them reads this blog, so the rest will be surprised. These were really fun to make and the decorating was much less time consuming than I thought. I went through two different batches of sugar cookies before I found one that didn't rise so much that it obscured all of the nice lines from the cookie cutters. The biggest mess was made by my kids, who were given the left over frosting and the cookies that were too puffy. My dining room table is covered with pastel blobs, crumbs, and sprinkles. Oh well. All in the name of a good time, right?
Be on the lookout for other really cute gifty things. These books just had WAY too many fun ideas in them!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Mmmm... Cake...
Is this not the cutest cake EVER??? So sassy!
I found it on this blog that I stalk: http://thegoodapple.blogspot.com/ She has the most AMAZING cookies and cakes on there. And she is relatively new to cake/cookie decorating. She took all the Wilton classes just a few years ago. I tell ya, some people got it. I don't. So I just check out her blog and admire her creativity and patience. My birthday is in a week. Do you think a cake like that would survive the USPS?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Mmmmm Mmmmm Good
(Since this is St. Patrick's Day (Happy Birthday, Dad!!) I will use the obligatory green font color.)
I have another product endorsement.
I am back on the weight loss wagon. Again. I'm on week two. It seems that I am all or nothing kind of a gal. If I am eating right, I am exercising. If I am exercising, I am eating well. So the law of physics says that if I am NOT doing one of those things, I am not doing the other, either. One of my biggest problems is that I do not like to deny myself when it comes to food. I have a hard time choosing something small and tasteless when I could have something filling and delicious. That's why I love these:
YUM-O!! And here's a trick: when I make them, I use unsweetened applesauce instead of oil, I use egg substitute instead of whole eggs, so it adds NO FAT. I will often sprinkle some ground flax seed in there too. It adds a trace amount of fat, but it adds all sorts of good stuff, too -- like even more fiber. And the muffins are moist and yummy and they have only 3g of fat, and 5g of fiber per muffin. Yay!!! I can have two for a snack with a big glass of water or fat free milk and I am good until dinner.
Here is my weight loss chain I have hanging in my kitchen:
Every link represents a pound. After I pass the weight on that link, I can tear it off and move on to the next one. Every fifth one is yellow and it means I get a reward. There are seven links in the last set, but that's because I am my mother's daughter and I needed to land on a nice round number. Once I reach that weight I get something BIG.
SO... Bunco gals... if you see me stuffing my face on Thursday, STOP ME. Maybe I will bring some muffins to share...
Monday, March 16, 2009
Too True...
I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'
He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my work.I didn't mean to 'click.'
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'
He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my work.I didn't mean to 'click.'
But click, I did, and oops...
I found
A real absorbing site,
That I got SO way into it...
I was into it all night.
Nothing's changed except my mouse.
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.
A real absorbing site,
That I got SO way into it...
I was into it all night.
Nothing's changed except my mouse.
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.
I guess my house will stay a mess....
While I sit here on my hiney.
While I sit here on my hiney.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Branching Out
I could have titled this "Taking the Plunge," "Into the Wild Blue Yonder." But I am trying not to psyche myself out by telling myself this is going to be too hard. What am I talking about???
*I* am going to make a quilt.
I am cheating on my beloved aprons. I have been following Oh, Fransson! for a while and I just LOVE her quilts. I appreciate her talent for putting fabrics and colors together. And I love that they don't look really country cottage when she is done (not that there's anything wrong with that...). A few weeks ago she posed the idea to do a Quilt-a-Long. I was on the fence while reading all of her tutorials and I decided this week that I was going to DO IT. I read her post on choosing colors (anyone who has seen my house in it's various half painted stages knows that color paralyzes me) and headed to the fabric store with Michelle. There I ran into a gal who is doing the same Quilt-a-Long. Small world!
Here is what I chose. We needed six pairs of coordinating fabrics -- for a total of 12. The blue is going to be my binding (unless I change my mind after seeing everything together). The off-white is going to be the sashing between the quilt blocks. The back will be a mixture of the solid green and the pink patterned fabric.
SO - my fabric is in the washing machine. I will probably try to start cutting tonight. I still need to finish Jillise's baptism dress and do two more personal progress wraps (with a tutorial). Something tells me both of those will seem like a piece of cake once I am surrounded with dozens of fabric strips. Wish me luck!!
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