Okay, Brian will probably pass out when he reads this, but I need to get it OUT so I can either look back at it later and laugh, or look at my thoughts on paper and realize that I am on to something...
I have been thinking lately about homeschooling. ACK!! I think I must be going crazy. I have never wanted to homeschool. Homeschool is NOT for me!! And for the record MOM, this has been going on for a while -- it was not brought on by your email. I always said that I would homeschool if my children's lives were in danger. But that was about it.
I do not hate public school. Jillise is having a great experience. She has lots of friends, she has a great teacher, she is learning fun things. But she is gone all day. Then she comes home and has piano on Tuesdays, and ballet on Thursdays, and soccer, and friends, and homework, and chores. And much of the time that she is home I teach piano lessons. So I don't feel that I get to spend much time with her. And she is bright. REALLY bright. And I know that she will always have the ability to learn more and do more than they can offer in a class with 20 other students.
There is a charter school here that people think is the Cat's Meow, but I don't think that is the answer to my feelings, either. I don't have a problem with the level of education she is getting. Nor do I have a problem with the other children at school. Besides, you can get a dunderhead classmate who will bring a gun to school ANYWHERE. Wearing a uniform isn't going to fix that. Besides, that school is in session even LATER in the day, and since they don't do many crafts and artsy things during instructional time, they schedule fun class activities AFTER school. More things pulling for her time. Then there is the whole "comparison" issue that arises when you have parents who are friends whose children are all in the same class every year, year after year.
On Sunday I got to go to the "grown up" classes instead of the Primary. Our lesson focused on Elder Oaks' talk "Good, Better, Best." He mentions in there all of the "Good" things that are vying for the time and energies of our families. All of the extra activies, church events, sports, lessons, friends, etc. And while many of those things are good and noble pursuits, they are taking away from the sacred family time that we should be having. This hit me really hard because I had already been struggling with how little "quality" time I have with my girls and they are only four and six years old! I have thought about quitting teaching piano lessons. That is a possibility, but an expensive one.
Then there is the whole issue of the world we live in today. I know that I can't shelter them from dingbats their whole life. I know that learning to be "in the world but not of the world" is something all of us have to learn to do. But this world is not the same as the world I grew up in. By the time I was faced with real peer pressure and life changing "good or evil" choices, I was in junior high or highschool. And even then I don't think I was ever offered drugs. I honestly do not remember anyone even asking if I wanted a cigarette. I went to parties where there was alcohol in highschool, but I was confident enough about myself that I just brought my own Clearly Canadian and carried that around and no one bugged me.
Now, kids are bringing guns to school in third grade. Kids are performing sexual favors IN CLASS in sixth grade. Studies are showing that children are experimenting with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and sex at a younger and younger age. This is not here, by the way -- this is all stuff from the national news -- I didn't want you to think our little town was Babylon). I have to think that if I taught my children at home until they were old enough to be more confident in themselves, if I can keep them from being faced with those decisions until they are old enough to fully comprehend the consequences, that they will be better off. I try to picture my sweet almost seven year old being surrounded by kids who are exposed to horrible situations at home, awful images on TV, kids who are routinely watching movies that *I* don't watch, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I am sure that she is privy to conversations that would make me blush. How do I teach her to shun those things when I don't even think she is old enough to have discussions about the sickening things she may encounter?? I don't want to scare her, but I don't want her learning things from her peers, either. I have a friend whose 4th grade daughter was brought into the principals office because she and her friends were dancing like strippers around the fireman pole on the playground! (This wasn't here, either -- but it was in another rural small town). How do you tell your sweet girl that was just following the crowd that dancing like that is unacceptable because that is how some women dance while taking off their clothes for money??? HUH????
I worry about socialization. But most of the friends we hang out with are from church, and those that aren't from church we see at ballet. They would still do sports. And piano. There is a "homeschool charter school" here that provides you with the curriculum free of charge, and once a week the kids go to "real school" where they are taught by a certified teacher. It gives the parents a break, and it allows the children to experience a real school environment. The school also does all the testing and provides one hour of tutoring a week for the kids. This helps to make sure they are staying on track and working at their level. It also provides one on one assistance for the parents.
Jillise would miss school terribly. She would miss her friends, and music, and library, and recess. But she also has anxiety at school and gets terribly nervous with a sub. She still won't go to the restroom by herself (I just learned this at the last parent teacher conference). I am anticipating another week of stomach aches and tears next year when she has a new teacher. And with seven different 2nd grade classes, there is another big chance that she won't have any good friends in her class next year. Then for 3rd grade she goes clear across town to a DIFFERENT school. Joelle will still be at the school where Jillise is now. (Our district was smoking something a few years back and thought it would be a great way to save money if they put all the K-2 kids at one school, all the 3-5 at another, and all the 6th graders at another. Which means that when Jillise is in 6th grade I will have kids at three schools, all starting within 15 minutes of each other, all of them 5 - 10 minutes apart -- depending on traffic. Oy.) So homeschooling could help her anxiety. By the time she is reintegrated she might be old enough to deal with it in a manner that doesn't involve weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. And she will still have anxiety provoking experiences, like soccer and ballet.
And who KNOWS how Joelle would respond. She is antsy and energetic and funny. She is learning to raise her hand from a SAINT of a primary teacher at church who is really whipping her class into shape (she is a 5th grade teacher). I can see her either blossoming in school and loving all of the experiences, or turning into a completely well meaning class clown who can't sit still. And being a teacher myself, I know that teachers don't have much time to coddle the class clown -- no matter how cute or well meaning she may be. I fear that she could be disciplined and shunned by friends and have a horrible experience and hate education for the rest of her life.
So, tell me. Am I bonkers? Thoughts? I *know* I am crazy. I love my kids. But I am one of those people who NEEDS personal time. Being with my children 24/7 could totally leave me needed a few prescriptions to help me function in normal society. I am not horrible organized. And I am the QUEEN of not following through with my good intentions. But I want what is best for my children and I am willing to sacrifice for that. And I know that I have been receiving spiritual promptings for SOME reason lately. Is this a part of that? I don't know. I guess only time will tell. I haven't even told Brian my thoughts. He and I have both had the whole "homeschooled kids are weird" mindset ever since we were young and homeschooled kids WERE weird. I guess I have alot of soul searching and prayer ahead of me.
18 comments:
AHH. I can totally see your dilemma. There are a lot of horrible things that go on at schools that I wouldn't want my kids exposed to, but then again most homeschooled kids are a little socially awkward. I just don't know what to tell you. I think a lot of it has to do with how you raise your kids and how you teach them, and I'm sure you're a great mom. Just keep weighing your options and don't jump the gun too soon.
Paige, I don't think you're crazy! We have a lot of moms out here who think/do the same. I'm just not brave enough! However, I encourage you to do it earlier than later. I have a truly bright 9yo son who HATES school because of all the homework in 3rd grade. He's on total burnout. Power struggles and blow-ups are all too common here. He unfortunately has the 1st child/perfectionist syndrome and puts a lot of pressure on himself. But, his teacher also gives homework on the weekends and all days off/breaks. It's just not right and the district backs her. Good luck. :)
Hey, good luck on your decision. I'm noticing its harder to be a Mom the older my kids get. There is so much to teach and so little time. Your kids are getting so big and are sooo cute!! Hope everything is going well for you and your fam.
Adrien
I homeschooled Hayden for a year and I loved it. But I also love having my kids around me. Hayden was easy to homeschool because she was so smart. I think I will call you though....
Sorry we got cut off, but as you could probably tell, I have no real answers. I think having a good mom like you who is concerned about her and aware of her needs will help her to succeed wherever she is,school or home.
Interesting post. With Jacey starting school next year I've had lots of the same thoughts and worry about her going into the real world. In some ways, I think homeschooling would be great. But like the things you mentioned, being in public school has benefits too. You have a mother's intuition and need to pray. You'll get through this.
That is a tough call. I completely agree with your rationale on the situation. Just follow your heart on this one!
I'm also not sure what to tell you. Like you, I've never entertained the thought of home-schooling (think it would scare me to death!), so I can imagine how difficult it would be if that's the feeling that keeps pressing on your mind.
Like other people have said, you know what is best for your family and for you. Weigh it out, and take time (luckily you've got 5 months) to really see where your heart goes and where the Lord decides to direct you.
I'm like you and sometimes just need to get it written/typed out to process and move on.
How neat. I've always said I will homeschool is my kids are endanger or if the neighborhood needs it and things like that. I seriously concider it. I have learned a lot about the public schools. I don't think homeschooling is half bad IF the kids are able to get the right skills. (especially in reading!!) Some homeschooled kids who come to the public schools are really behind academically but then some I have met are so bright they blow your minds away! And of coarse you can find other ways like ballet and sports to keep them in the social crowd. I agree completely.
I think that charter school sounds really neat. but what do i know!! Good Luck of the decision. It's a big one! I am sure I will be thinking about the same thing soon enough. Between you and me **Public Schools are coming to an end** There is just so much corruption, not only within the classroom between students but within the politics and governmental issues as well. It's a mess. Atleast thats what my LITTLE opinion is.But I am NOT saying private and charter schools are any better. I actually think they are making it worse for the public schools too.
Wow. I could have written this post a year or so ago. And that last paragraph about being disorganized, not the best at follow through, needing personal time...that I could have written five minutes ago.
I was struggling more with this when Bria was going to be in first grade. She was at a charter school in Phoenix for Kindergarten which was wonderful, but I was worried about the whole move, and she is really shy and has a hard time feeling like she fits in.
Anyway...we did first grade at the public school and it went better than I thought and I realized Bria needs to be there. Even though, like you, I often feel like I don't see her much with her violin lessons 2x a week and my own teaching. I am working on the quality time with her.
Mostly I just realized that there is no way I could homeschool and still be a really good mother. It would just be too much for me. I would do it if I had to (the danger thing) but it really is better for my children to go to school.
I do limit playing with friends to weekends. That might be horrible of me, but it is the only way I feel we get our family time in like I really want to...and like the kids really need.
Anyway, good luck with your decision. I'm sure it will be whatever is best for you and your kids. That's what counts the most.
There is so much to weigh in a decision like this. It sounds like you have a start in realizing all the considerations. Check out policies in your state. Here, kids can be homeschooled part-time. So you can send your child to public school for a part of curriculum that you don't feel strong in or something. It means they can be part of the extra curriculars in school if they want to. And since you've been home with them most of the day, you may be ok with them spending some afternoons at the school.
I think I just may email you because I have lots to say :) I've had similar thoughts in my mind since my first started school...3 years ago!
Being a mother in this day in age is VERY hard. It's SO hard to think about having to talk to my 7 year old daughter about things she might or has encountered at school, when she doesn't seem nearly old enough to be having these discussions with. I battled with some of your same thoughts, when she was going to be starting first grade, in the public school system. I did come to the conclusion that I personally couldn't do it, especially with my daughter, whom I tend to butt heads with!:) I do know a couple people who have done the homeschool charter school thing. They've really liked it. So, I think that I would at least look into that.
And I think that Joelle would do great. She doesn't tend to be the class clown at all. She might do things on her own time, but she is SUCH a joy to have in class. What an absolute cutie. She is always cracking me up!
I think public or private or home schooled is not going to keep your children from seeing the world, what really matters is that they are faced with these things and you teach the how to deal with them properly and recognize what is and is not exceptable. I brother and sister were homeschooled and thrown into a crazy world and didn't know how to cope they never had to learn to really deal.
I could go on and on. Good luck!
I've had a lot of the same thoughts as I prepare to send my first child to kindergarten (and she's only 4! California has a late deadline.) Anyway, I've gone back and forth for months about the decision. One of my friends had this insight in an email to me in regards to my wondering about home school. She is a Harvard grad both BA and MA, and a former 1st and 2nd grade teacher, not to mention just an amazing woman which is why I sought out her advice, "One of my worries about homeschooling is that I wouldn't want my son to be limited by my strengths/weaknesses, where I only teach him what I'm strong in and skim on areas where I am weak. I think having a different teacher every year and learning to work with different teaching styles is a very important part of school and life."
Anyway, I thought it was a good point. I am sending my daughter for now, keeping in mind that I can always pull her out if needs be. I think it's a very personal decision and that parents (and the Lord) know best what each individual child in each circumstance needs most. Good luck!
That deleted comment was from me...didn't want to scare you (or your mom) into thinking something freaky. For some reason my comment posted twice. That's all!
Wow, this post has really touch a nerve with a lot of people. I have never seen so many comments. Of course, I have a particular interest in your decision, since you are talking about my grandkids... I think where you are in a small town there are fewer worries than in a larger city school, but the influence of the larger society can't be kept out of even small town schools. In the district I work in, there is a district-homeschool partnership that sounds like what you have, where homeschooled kids can go to classes you feel they need another teacher to instruct that subject. Also, it is my understanding that you are entitled to take you homeschooled kids to the public school for things like music, PE, special assemblies, library etc. if you want to. They can be with their friends, but they may not feel as much a part of the group... It is a decision full of pros and cons. I feel like anyone who has kids in public schools had better be an active volunteer at the school to know the teachers, administrators, and kids, and have a finger on the pulse of daily life at school. THat way you can pull your kids out if you feel things aren't going right. If you choose to school at home, I know you can do the same amount of teaching in about half the time because so much of a classroom teacher's day is spent in disciplining and dealing with the problem kids.
It is a big decision, a tough decision. If you lived in a place with a poor school district it would make the decision much easier. Maybe the biggest advantage to having kids go to school is the socialization, but if it is the socialization that pulls kids away from the family's values, then that is the big problem. Is it worth it if your kids have a lot of friends and are involved in a lot of school activities, if those things are damaging to your kids' eternal salvation?
I don't feel like I would have been a good homeschool mom, but my sister did it and has been successful. Write to her and ask her opinion.
Mom
Ok, I totally understand. I know that kids are getting more and more busy these days. With your afternoons full of lessons I know you must miss the interaction.
Do a lot of praying, Good Luck
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